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Elderly Man Struggles to Dance in Time to Music

  

Category:  News & Politics

Via:  jbb  •  3 weeks ago  •  24 comments

By:   Andy Borowitz

Elderly Man Struggles to Dance in Time to Music
After swaying unsteadily and bobbing his head in a random fashion, the man was escorted away by his minders.

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T


Oct 16, 2024 OAKS, PA (The Borowitz Report)—In a spectacle that onlookers deemed worrisome, an elderly man struggled to dance in time to music for over half an hour on Monday.

After swaying unsteadily and bobbing his head in a random fashion for 38 minutes, the man was escorted away by his minders.

The septuagenarian has exhibited concerning memory issues of late, including last weekend in the Coachella Valley when he wandered off and abandoned hundreds of people in the desert.

His arrhythmic exertions in Pennsylvania, however, deeply troubled his caregivers, one of whom observed, "He danced so much better with Jeffrey Epstein."

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Article is LOCKED by author/seeder
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JBB
Professor Principal
1  seeder  JBB    3 weeks ago

original

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
1.1  devangelical  replied to  JBB @1    3 weeks ago

maybe his depends were stuck to his ass and he was trying to dislodge them ...

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
1.1.1  Tessylo  replied to  devangelical @1.1    3 weeks ago

jrSmiley_91_smiley_image.gif he just sharted, I bet he does that a lot

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
1.1.2  devangelical  replied to  Tessylo @1.1.1    3 weeks ago

... continuously, out of both orifices ...

 
 
 
Ed-NavDoc
Professor Quiet
1.1.3  Ed-NavDoc  replied to  devangelical @1.1    3 weeks ago

Or he's a better dancer than the folks whining about it...

 
 
 
RavenWing
Professor Participates
1.1.4  RavenWing  replied to  Ed-NavDoc @1.1.3    3 weeks ago

Hardly

 
 
 
Krishna
Professor Expert
1.2  Krishna  replied to  JBB @1    3 weeks ago

What could be the explanation for all of this?

Maybe he thinks he's John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever?

 
 
 
Krishna
Professor Expert
1.2.1  Krishna  replied to  Krishna @1.2    3 weeks ago
What could be the explanation for all of this? Maybe he thinks he's John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever?

Donald Trump as a Young Man - actual unretouched video!

(Suitable for framing)

(Its actually funnier if you watch it with the sound turned off)

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
1.2.2  Kavika   replied to  Krishna @1.2.1    3 weeks ago

OMG, I can’t unsee it….LOL

 
 
 
RavenWing
Professor Participates
1.2.3  RavenWing  replied to  Krishna @1.2    3 weeks ago

In his demented mind, he likely thinks he is far better than Travolta.jrSmiley_18_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
2  Kavika     3 weeks ago

Trump gave us the perfect example of the adage, ‘’whitemen can’t dance’’. Hopefully he will fulfill another adage of , ‘’whitemen can’t jump’’.

 
 
 
Split Personality
Professor Guide
2.1  Split Personality  replied to  Kavika @2    3 weeks ago

Next up, Whiteman can't win.

 
 
 
Krishna
Professor Expert
2.2  Krishna  replied to  Kavika @2    3 weeks ago
Trump gave us the perfect example of the adage, ‘’whitemen can’t dance’’. Hopefully he will fulfill another adage of , ‘’whitemen can’t jump’’.

This particular White Man can't think clearly!

 
 
 
JBB
Professor Principal
3  seeder  JBB    3 weeks ago

original

 
 
 
Freefaller
Professor Quiet
4  Freefaller    3 weeks ago

Lol to be fair I'm somewhat younger and can't dance either

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
4.1  Kavika   replied to  Freefaller @4    3 weeks ago

OK, I’ll be fair, can you jump, if so your good to go, Freefaller.

 
 
 
Freefaller
Professor Quiet
4.1.1  Freefaller  replied to  Kavika @4.1    3 weeks ago

Hi Kav last jump was over a year ago (went with my older brother and 87 year old dad), then I broke my left femur and hip and am still recovering from that (another surgery in January).  I have doubts I'll ever be freefalling again.  Lol getting old sucks

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
4.1.2  Kavika   replied to  Freefaller @4.1.1    3 weeks ago

Sorry to hear about the jump injury, Freefaller. A hope the next surgery is the last one for you. Getting old sure does suck I’m pushing your dad’s age…

 
 
 
Freefaller
Professor Quiet
4.1.3  Freefaller  replied to  Kavika @4.1.2    3 weeks ago
Sorry to hear about the jump injury,

Thanks Kav but it wasn't a jump injury I actually just slipped off my front porch on some ice.  Lol I've jumped from as high as 12,000 feet but break my leg in two places falling 3 feet

I’m pushing your dad’s age

I kinda figured that, keep kicking up your heels

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
4.1.4  Kavika   replied to  Freefaller @4.1.3    3 weeks ago

Falling off the porch???? Oh, don’t advertise that you’ll lose your jump card.

Every time I kick up my heels I fall on my ass.

 
 
 
Freefaller
Professor Quiet
4.1.5  Freefaller  replied to  Kavika @4.1.4    2 weeks ago

LMAO

 
 
 
Krishna
Professor Expert
4.2  Krishna  replied to  Freefaller @4    3 weeks ago

Lol to be fair I'm somewhat younger and can't dance either

Yes, but at least you're not a blithering idiot!

 
 
 
Freefaller
Professor Quiet
4.2.1  Freefaller  replied to  Krishna @4.2    3 weeks ago
Yes, but at least you're not a blithering idiot!

Lol depends on who you ask

 
 
 
MonsterMash
Sophomore Quiet
5  MonsterMash    3 weeks ago

The golden years of retirement aren't the golden years, they are the rust years.

 
 

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