BC Conservative leader clarifies that every batshit thing he’s ever said was a misunderstanding unless you agree with it
Category: Satire
Via: hallux • 3 weeks ago • 3 commentsBy: Mary Gillis - The Beaverton
VICTORIA – As the provincial election draws to a close, Conservative Party of B.C. leader John Rustad is making a last push to appeal to voters by denying everything he’s ever said that they think is crazy while affirming everything he’s ever said that they agree with.
“ It was a misunderstanding when I agreed with someone calling for public health officials to be put on trial in a ‘Nuremberg 2.0’. I can’t say what I thought I was agreeing to, because I still haven’t come up with a good answer to that question,” Rustad said at a campaign event on Wednesday. “But if you agree that public health officials should be put on trial because you think vaccine mandates are comparable to or worse than genocide, well then, I do too, and always have.”
Rustad, a 20 year veteran of B.C. politics , is a vaccine and climate change skeptic who has recently come to the conclusion that he might get more votes if he sounds saner than the uncle you had to block on Facebook because he kept sharing AI generated images of drowning children that he’s certain prove the existence of the “New World Order”.
“Unless you like B.C.’s education system as it is, in which case none of the extensive reforms I’ve proposed will change it in any way that bothers you personally.”
Rustad has been aided in his attempts to ensure his party appeals to both centrists and far-right conspiracy theorists by the unending revelations of deranged stances from B.C. Conservative candidates on issues ranging from 5G to mass shootings, stances that Rustad can claim he disapproves of while not taking any actions (such as expelling those candidates) that would indicate he actually disapproves of those stances.
Rustad is Krispy Kreme Krazy enough to make one Keen for the Knights of Kovid.
turning the maga party anti-vax is the only positive thing trump did for the US as POTUS ...
Of course the Earth is flat— everybody knows that! And anyone that denies that is obviously a MARXIST!!!