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Here Are Biden's 10 Conditions For Debating Trump

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  gregtx  •  one week ago  •  11 comments

Here Are Biden's 10 Conditions For Debating Trump
Biden's team announced the President has agreed to a debate with Donald Trump in June, but only if a lengthy set of very particular conditions are met. Here are ten things Biden's team is demanding before the President will sign off on a debate with Trump:

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T


Biden's team announced the President has agreed to a debate with Donald Trump in June, but only if a lengthy set of very particular conditions are met. Here are ten things Biden's team is demanding before the President will sign off on a debate with Trump:

  1. Biden's microphone must be edible: The flavor, however, may either be chocolate chip or mint chocolate.
  2. Biden must be allowed to sniff the hair of the moderator before the debate: No exceptions, not even for Jake Tapper.
  3. The debate must be held in a remote location with no chance of any witnesses: Like a WNBA game.
  4. No one can ask any questions about the economy, inflation, Afghanistan, Gaza, the border, crime levels, Ukraine, Hunter Biden, Ashley Biden, campus protests, Title IX, or any other topics in existence: Pretty standard.
  5. The only network allowed to carry debate is Al-Jazeera: Fair and balanced.
  6. Each candidate will be allowed one IV infusion line for drugs: Smelling salts must also be available.
  7. Candidates can phone-a-friend unlimited times: Just like Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, but with dementia.
  8. White House reserves right to have role of Biden played by Tom Hanks: Just in case.
  9. The debate will end after 12 minutes or when Biden falls asleep, whichever comes first: The debate must also start at 10:30 a.m.
  10. Trump must agree to drop out of the Presidential race and go to jail: Seems reasonable.

Ball's in your court, Trump!


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GregTx
PhD Guide
1  seeder  GregTx    one week ago

original

 
 
 
Sean Treacy
Professor Principal
2  Sean Treacy    one week ago

Satire and reality are basically the same at this point.

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
3  JohnRussell    one week ago

One of the lamest "satires" you have posted yet. 

 
 
 
GregTx
PhD Guide
3.1  seeder  GregTx  replied to  JohnRussell @3    one week ago

I'm sorry you didn't like it John. But I am still on the lookout for a good one about diapers. I'm fairly sure there will be one soon, maybe after June...

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
4  JohnRussell    one week ago

Here are Trump's demands

1.  The moderators must agree that the 2020 election was stolen.

2.  Trump's entrance music must be the J6 Choir singing God Bless Making America Great Again.

3.  Trump is allowed to sell "Trump 2024" labeled energy drinks on the street outside the studio.

4.  Trump will be allowed to fart and belch as much as he wants. 

5.  Jack Smith must personally clean the toilets the Trump team uses during the event. 

6.   A bullseye with Nancy Pelosi's image on it will appear in the lower corner of the video screen for 5 seconds every 30 seconds.

7.   If and when Biden mentions Trump's lies he will be given an electric shock in the groin. 

8.   Fox News will replay the debate the next day with the appropriate "edits, additions, and deletions". 

9.   Joe Biden must agree to ingest 8 Benadryl tablets before the debate begins.

 10.   The Eastman Memo is out of bounds. 

 
 
 
Right Down the Center
Senior Guide
4.1  Right Down the Center  replied to  JohnRussell @4    one week ago

jrSmiley_50_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Ronin2
Professor Quiet
4.2  Ronin2  replied to  JohnRussell @4    one week ago
1.  The moderators must agree that the 2020 election was stolen.

Have you read Brandon's demands? No moderator from any of those stations will agree to that.

2.  Trump's entrance music must be the J6 Choir singing God Bless Making America Great Again.

Brandon's entrance music with be the Darth Vader theme song. Dark Brandon likes it; and it might sell more merch if he can somehow attach his name to Star Wars brand.

3.  Trump is allowed to sell "Trump 2024" labeled energy drinks on the street outside the studio.

To offset the Dark Brandon merch that will be on sale. I thought Democrats believed in equal representation?

4.  Trump will be allowed to fart and belch as much as he wants. 

It will be the only chance Brandon has of staying awake. So the Brandon campaign is insisting on it.

5.  Jack Smith must personally clean the toilets the Trump team uses during the event. 

Smith would fuck that job up. His job is create shit, not clean it up.

6.   A bullseye with Nancy Pelosi's image on it will appear in the lower corner of the video screen for 5 seconds every 30 seconds.

A picture. What is this the 1920's? We demand a video of the Queen Bitch (both of them). That is Hillary and Pelosi. Hillary with her cackling fake laugh in one corner; and Pelosi tearing up the State of the Union address in the other. If people are going to break their tv set watching this shit show- at least make it worth their while.

7.   If and when Biden mentions Trump's lies he will be given an electric shock in the groin. 

Brandon will not only match Trump lie for lie; he will grab the buzzer and give himself shocks. Brandon is a perv after all- just ask his daughter, Beau's wife, and Hillary.

8.   Fox News will replay the debate the next day with the appropriate "edits, additions, and deletions". 

All of the deletions will be the moderators cutting Trump off every 3 seconds so he can't answer the question. It will cut the debate time in half. CNN, lame stream networks, MSNBC, and the rest will cut out Brandon's portion completely. This election is all about Trump after all./S

9.   Joe Biden must agree to ingest 8 Benadryl tablets before the debate begins.

Wouldn't put a dent in the caffeine pills, uppers, hoppers, and steroids Brandon will be on.

10.   The Eastman Memo is out of bounds. 

As will any questions about Brandon's record. Which is for certain given Brandon's moderator constraints.

 
 
 
Hal A. Lujah
Professor Guide
4.3  Hal A. Lujah  replied to  JohnRussell @4    one week ago

Trump’s demands don’t come in the form of a list, they come in real time slathered in his signature verbal diarrhea.  He is a child, and I apologize to any offended children for the comparison.

 
 
 
Right Down the Center
Senior Guide
5  Right Down the Center    one week ago

jrSmiley_81_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Tacos!
Professor Guide
6  Tacos!    one week ago
The debate must be held in a remote location with no chance of any witnesses:

Attica

 
 
 
Vic Eldred
Professor Principal
7  Vic Eldred    one week ago

On a more serious note, Donald Trump should make two demands of his own:

1) Trump should demand that nobody he debates be allowed to use an earpiece, including the Democrat moderators.

2) Trump should also demand that CNN and other Democrat media involved in debates refrain from supplying the questions in advance to Biden.

 
 

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