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Latest Polls Show Biden Will Need Twice As Many Fake Ballots To Win Election This Year

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  gregtx  •  one week ago  •  4 comments

Latest Polls Show Biden Will Need Twice As Many Fake Ballots To Win Election This Year
U.S. — As former President Donald Trump continued to build a sizeable lead in a majority of swing states, the latest polls suggest President Joe Biden would need twice as many fake ballots to win the election this year.

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T


U.S. — As former President Donald Trump continued to build a sizeable lead in a majority of swing states, the latest polls suggest President Joe Biden would need twice as many fake ballots to win the election this year.

The startling poll results presented the Biden campaign with a sobering reminder that the standard number of fake ballots used in previous election years needed to be increased significantly for him to win again in November.

"We've got to double our target number of fake votes this year," said a Biden campaign insider under the condition of anonymity. "In previous years, we could just coast by with the standard quota of shenanigans, but this year, we've got to increase our production of hijinx and substantially raise the output of malarky."

The polls also led White House insiders to express concern that there may not even be enough dead people casting votes to overcome the deficit. "We need more dead voters," another insider said. "We've always done a good job of turning out the dead vote, but this year it will be even more crucial to get as many deceased people to the polls as possible."

Democrat ballot production centers across the country have reportedly already been notified to ramp up production to have any chance of meeting the demand in November.

At publishing time, the Biden campaign was rumored to be in negotiations with foreign countries for permission to use large quantities of the dead voters they use to rig their elections.


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GregTx
PhD Guide
1  seeder  GregTx    one week ago

512

 
 
 
Jeremy Retired in NC
Professor Expert
2  Jeremy Retired in NC    one week ago

They'll just double scan more ballots than last time.

 
 
 
Mark in Wyoming
Professor Silent
3  Mark in Wyoming     one week ago

Well, trying to implement the Russian style of election system, keeping people off the ballot hasn't been working......

I still think someone has been putting Teflon in Trumps spray tan mixture.....Shit keeps sliding off.

 
 
 
Right Down the Center
Senior Guide
4  Right Down the Center    one week ago

256

 
 

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