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'I've Never Felt So Alive,' Thinks Police Officer While Clotheslining Communist Ivy League Student

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  gregtx  •  3 weeks ago  •  11 comments

'I've Never Felt So Alive,' Thinks Police Officer While Clotheslining Communist Ivy League Student
LOS ANGELES, CA — After weeks of dealing with unruly and aggravated protestors, a Los Angeles police officer finally felt moments of real joy and euphoria as a line of commie UCLA students charged him with garbage can shields.

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T


LOS ANGELES, CA — After weeks of dealing with unruly and aggravated protestors, a Los Angeles police officer finally felt moments of real joy and euphoria as a line of commie UCLA students charged him with garbage can shields.

"Ah yeah! Come at me, bro!" Officer Dale Ipsom thought as a small group of blue-haired, 120-pound, bike-helmet-wearing protestors ran toward him at full speed. "I've been training my whole life for this. I'VE NEVER FELT SO ALIVE!"

Officer Ipsom then suppressed a smile as he totally leveled a little revolutionary named Zander with a single punch to the windpipe. Eyewitnesses say the officer then closed his eyes with satisfaction, feeling the soft California breeze on his face before preparing to grab another one by the face and chuck him 30 feet with one hand.

"This is fantastic. I feel so renewed," Officer Ipsom exclaimed in his mind as he hoisted another protestor above his head and began spinning him around like Popeye. "This is way better than those Antifa riots a few years back. Those guys brought actual riot gear but these guys, oh look at his adorable little shield!"

At publishing time, Officer Ipsom could be heard quietly muttering to himself "Don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh," as one UCLA student rushed him with a toy lightsaber.


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GregTx
PhD Guide
1  seeder  GregTx    3 weeks ago

jrSmiley_86_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
2  Tessylo    3 weeks ago

So where is seriously injuring folks funny?

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
2.1  Tessylo  replied to  Tessylo @2    3 weeks ago

Plus everything else in this alleged satire is just wrong.

 
 
 
GregTx
PhD Guide
2.1.1  seeder  GregTx  replied to  Tessylo @2.1    3 weeks ago

Prove it.

 
 
 
Right Down the Center
Senior Guide
2.3  Right Down the Center  replied to  Tessylo @2    3 weeks ago

Who got hurt, the imaginary protester?

 
 
 
Right Down the Center
Senior Guide
3  Right Down the Center    3 weeks ago

Must have been the garbage can shield brigade.

84388975-13376941-image-a-60_1714680605926.jpg

 
 
 
Mark in Wyoming
Professor Silent
4  Mark in Wyoming     3 weeks ago

Oh look!!!! A live action version of one of the garbage pail kids from the trading cards.....

 
 
 
Mark in Wyoming
Professor Silent
5  Mark in Wyoming     3 weeks ago

I still think my favorite YouTube of a protest is the one where the protester picked up a tear gas canister and threw it back at the cops, to be rewarded by being pecker hit a couple time with pepper balls...I know paintballs leave a mark, but that Cajun seasoning likely wasnt to his partners liking.

 
 
 
GregTx
PhD Guide
5.1  seeder  GregTx  replied to  Mark in Wyoming @5    3 weeks ago

Link please..

 
 
 
Mark in Wyoming
Professor Silent
5.1.1  Mark in Wyoming   replied to  GregTx @5.1    3 weeks ago

I will see if I can find it again, it's one of those things you see one time and just can't forget.

 
 
 
Mark in Wyoming
Professor Silent
6  Mark in Wyoming     3 weeks ago

Here is a snippet, warning guys , viewing this will make your balls retract involuntarily.

 
 

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