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Columbia Protestors Clarify They Only Want Death To America After America Is Done Paying Their Student Loans

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  gregtx  •  4 weeks ago  •  7 comments

Columbia Protestors Clarify They Only Want Death To America After America Is Done Paying Their Student Loans
NEW YORK, NY — As pro-Palestine groups continued to gather on campus following the establishment of the Gaza Solidarity Encampment, Columbia University protestors clarified that they only want "Death to America" after America is done paying their student loans for them.

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T


NEW YORK, NY — As pro-Palestine groups continued to gather on campus following the establishment of the Gaza Solidarity Encampment, Columbia University protestors clarified that they only want "Death to America" after America is done paying their student loans for them.

"Death to America… in like, 3 or 4 years when I graduate!" shouted one student protestor. "America truly is the 'Great Satan' that ravages and oppresses other countries and deserves to be wiped off the face of the earth…as soon as the American taxpayers finish paying off our tuition loans!

"But as soon as that's done, then, yeah, totally, death to America!"

The mob of angry students occupying the Gaza Solidarity Encampment agreed that this was an entirely reasonable requirement. "America owes us. You, know, for being all evil and horrible and stuff," said an apparently well-educated student at the university. "We demand loan forgiveness from America. Then it can die as soon as that's done."

As part of this agreement, Columbia students vowed to maintain barely passing grades in all of their liberal arts classes for the duration of time it takes taxpayers to cover their debt.

At publishing time, the Columbia protestors had also called for the death of Elon Musk, but only after they get a Tesla.


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GregTx
PhD Guide
1  seeder  GregTx    4 weeks ago

512

 
 
 
Greg Jones
Professor Participates
2  Greg Jones    4 weeks ago

Biden, in the opinion of many, is mostly responsible for the level of hate and animosity in the country today. The demonstrators are nothing more than modern day Nazis, and slow old Joe is afraid call them out.

afb042224dAPR-800x0.jpg

 
 
 
Vic Eldred
Professor Principal
3  Vic Eldred    4 weeks ago

I think we are seeing a real insurrection. 

 
 
 
Jeremy Retired in NC
Professor Expert
3.1  Jeremy Retired in NC  replied to  Vic Eldred @3    4 weeks ago

Well, there is this:

 
 
 
Vic Eldred
Professor Principal
3.1.1  Vic Eldred  replied to  Jeremy Retired in NC @3.1    4 weeks ago

"It is against the law to demonstrate inside the Congressional Buildings, so we brought in additional officers to be prepared for the moment the group would break the law," the statement read.

I don't think they will be rotting in jail for a year awaiting trials.

 
 
 
Jeremy Retired in NC
Professor Expert
3.1.2  Jeremy Retired in NC  replied to  Vic Eldred @3.1.1    4 weeks ago

Of course not.  It appears the left supports them so any charges will more than likely be dropped.

 
 
 
MrFrost
Professor Guide
3.2  MrFrost  replied to  Vic Eldred @3    4 weeks ago

I think we are seeing a real insurrection. 

LOL! Now THAT'S funny! 

 
 

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