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Republicans' new Conspiracy: "Hunter Biden Snuffed O.J."!

  

Category:  News & Politics

By:  eat-the-press-do-not-read-it  •  one month ago  •  31 comments

Republicans' new Conspiracy:  "Hunter Biden Snuffed O.J."!
"Desperate people say desperate things about other people!" - Animus

B roke Back Mountain's BREAKING NEWS:

"The Hole News & Nothing But the HO's News, So Help me GOD of Redemption!


256 According to Broke Back Mountain's sordid "sauces", Ghouliani, and Steve ("Never Bathes") Bunions,  a " RIGHT WING cabal", spearheaded by Margaret Taylor Green (aka, "Three Toes"), and her new amour, "Jockstrap" Jordan, want to take out Speaker Johnson, for not following MTG instructions.

Jim Jordan's new girlfriend,Matt Gatz; Matt's newest "girlfriend", Lauren Boebert, joined the cabal, and like juveniles in grade school, a shouted, in unison, that they will "drum out Mickey Johnson", Speaker of the House, like a rotten potato, if that spineless, two-faced, former male-bitch, did not convene an immediate INVESTIGATION into this allegation, leaked to MTG, by her newest lover, Donald J. Trump, that " Hunter Biden SNUFFED O. J. Simpson", with one of his father's argyle socks.

It allegedly happen while Hunter was delivering "Take Outs", to prisoners from Popa Johns's Pisserias.

Apparently, O. J. had thousands of dollars of outstanding, unpaid "Take-Out" bills.


The source for this information, at the moment, is unknown at this time, and may be unknown, until T-Rump, Leader of the New World Order, takes full credit for O. J. demise. 

"Dirty Diaper Donnie" let it be known, days before O. J.'s death, saying he can "smell something nasty is coming our way".

Meanwhile, Marjorie Taylor Green, the real power in House of Representative, stated that, as far as she knows (and that ain't very far) it was Joe's son, Hunter, that did O.J. in, to cover up the real killer, Joe Biden!

These "sources" claim, that they have it on a "pretty unreliable sauce" (Lauren Boebert) that someone, no one knows who, discovered that Joe Biden, or, someone that looks like him, had a "Hot-Flash, Secret Love Affair" with O.J.'s wife, back in the day, and O.J. and his gardener, caught Joe in the act, and all Hell Broke Out.

(Hell Does Break Out At Times)


As everyone that is anyone knows Joe, has always had a violent, unrelenting, raging-bull side to him, but it is rarely seen by most of Joe's  supporters.

However, the police, FBI and the CIA are keenly aware of Joe's rages, and have tried for years to expose them.


Joe Biden, like his arch enemy, T-Rump, can go "berserko", in a NY Minute, stated, a "rat in NYC", and, well you know the "Rest of the Story", What's went down when O.J.'s wife told Joe, "I don't think we should see each other again."

Shortly, after that lunch, tragedy took place!

Police blamed it on O.J. because he was Black and Joe is not.


"The real details will boggle your mind", said Wayne Rogers, a prisoner who claims that he was on the scene at the time of the murders.

Rogers claims that he worked for O.J. as a handyman, and while in prison confessed to "Broke-My-Back Mountain's" moat "unstable reporter", Little Jonnie Jump Up, that he "has all of the details on who did what, to whom".

Wayne implied that "The sordid relationship that rocked the world is more entangled that anyone knows."

He points his middle finger at Joe Biden and his son Hunter.


Meanwhile:  Mick Johnson, current Speaker of the House, is so intimidated by MTG (part woman, part man) that he wet his pants, whenever Marjorie Green screams at him.

Jonson, pants stilled wet, replied that "I called Republican Cock-Asses (Caucus) together, and demanded that a Congressional Investigation
of Hunter Biden and his father, Joe Biden, must be undertaken immediately!

MTG, shouted out, over the Speaker's speech, "Do it, I will start kicking some asses!"! she shouted, then showed her own ass to all present, as a warning.

That friends, is scary!

Marjorie stated that she heard a voice while staring into the eclipse, without sunglass, that "Hunter Biden is the culpert, and the real brains in the Biden family".

"Joe is just the eye candy", explained Marjorie.


Speaker Johnson, trembling like a doe in headlights, squeaked out ,"Joe Biden should resigned immediately, if we play our cards right".

"But, if we play to the LEFT, Joe will win the election and be a 'Bee in our Bonnet' for another four years, we will be SOL!"


Former President Trump, aka,"Dirty Diaper Donnie", was listening-in over his special eave dropping phone, as he always does to keep control over the Republican Party of Spineless Cowards, In-It-For Donors' MONEY, took possession of the conversation and shouted out to the crowd:

"All I need is 11,726 votes and I will do the rest. Is that asking too much?"


MTG, leaped to the podium, snatch the gravel, from the groveling Speaker's hand, smack poor Little Mickey in the head, then screamed at the lawmakers, "if that pussy Jonson doesn't do it, I, Marjorie Taylor Green will, by the Power infested to me by my lover, DONALD J. TRUMP... will immediately invoked a VOTE to Remove the Speaker of the LOUSE...er...HOUSE!"

"All in favor, say AYE", demanded mean, ugly, MTG.

"Those opposed, pack your SHAT Up, and get the Hell out of my Congress
".

When queried by a member of the Cabal, Matt Gatz, an expert on "queries", queried MTG, "Where did you get this information about Hunter Biden and Joe"?

MTG replied, as if in a trance, "Listen up, you pervert, it was a special message sent directly to me, from GOD," shouted MTG to the nodding off Republicans still remaining in the House!

At which point, every Republican in Congress, including Mitt Romney, bent down on their knees, in awe, or fear.

Marjorie offered further proof of the accusations she made by stating that, "GOD wants America to know the truth, before Jews start shooting Laser Beams from Outer Space into Inner Space" .

That broke the HUSH in the Republicans caucus, while boisterous laughter erupted in the Democrats wing of the Chamber.

Apparently, that level of proof was too much for "Little-Bitty-Michael" to handled. He fainted, like the woman, he used to be, before his "Conversion Therapy"! 

Each time MTG knock poor, sweet, little Mickey down, bravely struggled to rise from the Congressional floor, but always was beaten back by the muscular MTG.

Paul Gosar, shouted from the Congressional Restroom, at the back of the packed audience, and acknowledged, that his "Arizona Neo-Nazi Militia is ARMED & READY FOR BLOODY COMBAT" , against any and all traitors!

256

You heard it first from "Broke My Back Mountain's Sissy News"!



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Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    one month ago

I, too, swear, as MTG, does, and do hereby attest that all that I hear, see, and say are not from my numerous hallucinations, but, are at time REVELATIONS FROM GOD!

 
 
 
Ozzwald
Professor Quiet
1.1  Ozzwald  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @1    one month ago

You know what this means..... 

Time for MTG to whip out her coveted dick pics of Hunter again.  The poster sized ones.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
1.1.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Ozzwald @1.1    one month ago

They are probably smudged over, crumpled from her obsessive use.

 
 
 
MrFrost
Professor Guide
2  MrFrost    one month ago

Posted without comment.. LMAO! 

 
 
 
Gsquared
Professor Principal
2.1  Gsquared  replied to  MrFrost @2    one month ago

Perfect.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
2.1.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Gsquared @2.1    one month ago

Gsquared, don't you know I have heard that "perfect" a thousand times or more.

Can't you find another word like "Sensational". Perhaps, a phrase. Would that be asking to much, e.g., "Better than my Mother's Egg Sandwich & Raw Frog Legs?"

Jeezy, must I tell you everything?

 
 
 
Gsquared
Professor Principal
2.1.2  Gsquared  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @2.1.1    one month ago

"Sensational" is too gay.

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Junior Expert
2.1.3  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  Gsquared @2.1.2    one month ago

Only if you say it with a slight lisp and a voice.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
2.1.4  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Gsquared @2.1.2    one month ago

I am sorry. I should have said something more manly.

As a "Girlie Man" it is difficult for me to come up with manly words and phrase.  Mostly, I spent much of my time in a closet "Crying".

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
2.1.5  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @2.1.3    one month ago

Well, I always do that because, as a child, our family smacked our lips when we ate something we liked, and had a pronounced "lisp", because every time we cursed or took the Jehovah Witness Name In Vain, my Pappy Snappy, would get a knick in our tongue. 

Our neighbors referred to us as the Welsh Kids.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
2.2  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  MrFrost @2    one month ago

Those are the post that I give the Highest Marks, too. Write that down in your Book of "WIZ DUMB"

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
3  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    one month ago

Fellow News Stalkers.commie, do you have any idea how much MONEY I have to pay Perrie, to stay on this sight?

It's in the tens of thousands.

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Junior Expert
3.1  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @3    one month ago

It's in the tens of thousands.

Bet that's more than the skin tag folks.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
3.1.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @3.1    one month ago

Thanks, Drinker of the Wry. You are right, there is always someone worse that us.

That is why I have started a DONATE to the Billionaire of your choice.  They have financial problems, too.

Without Billionaires, there would be NO JOBS, not even blow jobs. Billionaires created jobs, workers don't. they take jobs. But billionaire create job, so we no longer have to give blow jobs.

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Junior Expert
4  Drinker of the Wry    one month ago

Without O.J., what would Kim Kardashian be today?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
4.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @4    one month ago

A SLUT?

Did I win?  What do I get?

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
5  JohnRussell    one month ago

GK03izcaIAMgmnc.jpeg

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
5.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  JohnRussell @5    one month ago

MAGA LOONS are "Multi-Patriots" of every HATE GROUP. But, Patriots of America and her flag.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
6  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    one month ago

I always suspected that there maybe more to this HUNTER BIDEN file. That is why I am investigating the theory that Republicans are circulating.

Did Hunter Biden SNUFF O.J. to prevent O.J. from exposing Joe Biden's involvement?  "Enquiring Minds Want To Know", the other kind don't give a SHAT about anything.

What did O.J. know?

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
7  JohnRussell    one month ago

436267771_927924036046263_4481792985787037556_n.jpg

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
7.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  JohnRussell @7    one month ago

Can you imagine that King James "GAY". I knew he was "depressed", but I would have never guessed he was "Gay", too. 

Does that make him a schizophrenic?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
7.1.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @7.1    one month ago

Trump is a "Schizophrenic256 ". He is two-faced!

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Junior Expert
7.2  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  JohnRussell @7    one month ago

Didn’t he have lots of children with his queen?  Maybe he was bi.  What does that have to do with him commissioning a translation of the Bible?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
7.2.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @7.2    one month ago

Nothing, all of the manuscripts, verses, poem, speeches, back in the Dark Ages, in every religion were scribbled by nunes.

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
7.2.2  JohnRussell  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @7.2    one month ago

On the downside, King James was a raving homosexual. Sir Walter Raleigh joked about it, saying “King Elizabeth” had been succeeded by “Queen James.” His favorite lover was the Duke of Buckingham. Anyone who doubts this needs to read “King James and Letters of Homoerotic Desire” by David Bergeron. James’ tomb lies beside that of Buckingham in Westminster Abbey. Do we really want a literary work commissioned by a homosexual indoctrinating our kids in their formative years?

Read more at:

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Junior Expert
7.2.3  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  JohnRussell @7.2.2    one month ago
King James was a raving homosexual.

You see homosexuality as a raving condition?

Do we really want a literary work commissioned by a homosexual indoctrinating our kids in their formative years?

Does your homophobia conclude that King James sexuality tainted the translators he commissioned?

 
 
 
GregTx
PhD Guide
7.2.4  GregTx  replied to  JohnRussell @7.2.2    one month ago
Do we really want a literary work commissioned by a homosexual indoctrinating our kids in their formative years?

And ironically, some might ask do we really want a literary work commissioned by a racist indoctrinating our kids in their formative years?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
7.2.5  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  JohnRussell @7.2.2    one month ago

Especially in schools.  Where are our RIGHT WING, CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN NATIONALISTS, when their country needs them?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
7.2.6  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @7.2.3    one month ago

Probably, blew his brains out.

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Junior Expert
7.2.7  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @7.2.6    one month ago

He blew his mind out in a car
He didn't notice that the lights had changed
A crowd of people stood and stared
They'd seen his face before
Nobody was really sure if he was from the House of Lords

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
8  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    one month ago

Somewhere, along the way, those who were exposed to this TREATISE, may have been deeply affected by its content, and decided for their own sanity, must derail it.

Or, derail it just for fun.

 
 

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