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Donnie's SECRET WEAPON. It's not his charm, intelligence, competence. It is his DIAPER!

  

Category:  Satire

By:  eat-the-press-do-not-read-it  •  4 weeks ago  •  18 comments

Donnie's SECRET WEAPON. It's not his charm, intelligence, competence. It is his DIAPER!
"Dirty Diaper Donnie" is losing his SHAT! - Jonathan Lipschitz, Part Time Idiot & Full Time Moron

Donnie J. Trump's threat to HUMANITY is not his hot tempers, insane rantings or "know-nothing" approach to governance.

No, Sir-Ree-Bob-A-Looney Tunes, it is his DIAPERS, always filled with a gigantic, full load to protect him from would-be assassins, warrant servers, and Melanoma.

No one with a maniacal bent can get within miles, due to those oversized, stinking, "Dirty Diapers".

They are not accidental weapons, no sir-ree-boba-lu-ba, these sturdy, handmade diapers are specially designed to keep people, animals and Democrats (aka Demon-crates at bay, as in Guna-tan-no Bay.)

As of my poorly informed readers know, several Presidents have been assassinated, and some shot, but not kill, due to poor marksmanship. 

Thanks to Elongated Elon Muskrat, "Dirty Diaper Donnie", is able to keeps his enemies at bay, because no one, not even Ghouliani wants to take the risk of being closer than five miles.

If you have ever changed a baby's diaper, or, worse, removed one that had been sitting about for days, or months, then you know the power of Poop.

Trump has lived with that power since his hey days on  "The Apprentice". 

As many of my readers are keenly aware, that cast members from that highly acclaimed TV show have finally come forward, now, that it looks like T-Rump Bone Spurs is going a way for LIFE.

This is the cast's opportunity to speak the Truth to Powder...er...Power.

In the past, these great patriots (aka Whistle Blowers) were callously, coldly and frequently denied to appear on "Dirty Diaper Donnie" show, "Truth Talk SHAT" because they were not "Black Enough", according to "sauce", CB.

CB is a well know prevaricator, here, at EAT THE PRESS-DO NOT BEAT IT!

This disclosure made many of them cry, dies, rise up again, and cry all over,

That, my fellow NewSalkers.commies, is why, oh, why they were permanently kicked off the show and had to go back to their old job as Jehovah Witness solicitors

My dearly devout friends, and fellow fiends, is why, to this day, these eye witnesses has been unjustly traumatized and had their eyes torn out by MAGA LOONS, who mistakenly believed that their Hero/God's Anointed One, Donald J. Trump was being unjustly vilified, instead of French Fried, which is how they like, it like it.

Our "sauce" (Ghouliani) claims that he has it on "pretty unlikely intel", that Fanni Willis is not going to allow that filthy, stinking "Dirty Diaper Donnie" (their hero, not mind, to side into her boudoir, at will, or with Will Smith, and do unspeakable thing to her, as a way to silence her, via "Blackmail"!

(NOTE:  Ask, CB, why it always called BLACKMAIL, even when white people do it. They ain't black. Why don't they call it "WHITE MAIL"?

DJT has admitted that 23 of his rape victims have come forward to accuse Trump of "unfulfilled sexual abuse", and failed to pay, that they signed an affidavit to that effect.

Howsomever, because they were women, no one believe a word they said.  Most said they wanted it, had it coming, and should have been grateful, because Donnie is a STUP's stud.

Just is about to be served!

The SHAT SHOW
is about to begin.
Stay tune, Looney Tunes, Donnie's day of wanton rape, lying, cheating, stealing, and throwing Ketch Up Bottles is about to come to a screeching halt.

(And, now, Honey, "you know the rest of the story. - Walter Crock-of-Shat)


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Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    4 weeks ago

"The World Will Little Know What We Did Here", but it can never forget TRUMP'S SHAT SHOW.
(That odor is a KILLER)!

 
 
 
JBB
Professor Principal
1.1  JBB  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @1    4 weeks ago

original

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
1.1.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  JBB @1.1    4 weeks ago

Another TRUMP SHAT SHOW!

Send money first ($100) and we will send you the video.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
2  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    4 weeks ago

If you would like to be a member of Eat The Press -Do Not Eat SHAT, send $750,000 to Jonathan Lipschitz % of "Mindless Folks Who Will Choke On Anything", Mildew, OH-HO-HOES, where there are no jobs, not even BLOW JOBS.

Remember, Honey  --- Jesus LOVE you, but I don't!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
3  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    4 weeks ago

Folks, we are a new Neo-Christian Organization, aligned with our parent company, "KILLER FER KRIST", so do not Fugazy with us.

Send MONEY, Honey, or we will suck the eyes out of your head while you are sleeping. 

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
4  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    4 weeks ago

Our motto is "VIOLENCE FIRST", then conquer before they regroup.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
5  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    4 weeks ago

Remember, we know where you live.  I only need $11,754 per month to achieve our goal of conquering the World.

Remember, "We Are The World", now, not "We Are The Children of the World".  That is the problem. Children should not be running things.

Be-Jesus, is that so hard to conceive?

I was not conceived. I entered "LIFE DIRECTLY FROM AN EXPLOSION"! - Jack Douglas

Be a part of WORLD CHANGE, or ties yourself to a "Yellow Ribbon Around An Old Oak Tree".

We have ways of finding you.

 
 
 
MonsterMash
Sophomore Quiet
6  MonsterMash    4 weeks ago

"Jonathan Lipschitz, Part Time Idiot & Full Time Moron"

That's a fact

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
6.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  MonsterMash @6    4 weeks ago

Thank you, so many do not understand there is no shame with being a "part-time idiot and a full time moron". We are peoples, too.


 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
7  JohnRussell    4 weeks ago

800

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
7.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  JohnRussell @7    3 weeks ago

I bid a NEGATIVE $75.00!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
8  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    3 weeks ago

Donnie is NOT a Liar. He is incapable of telling the truth. That is different.

It's congenital. It is in his chromosomes. Who among us has not told a "FIB"? 

Is Donald J. Trump not deserving of forgiveness, sympathy, compassion and the partly sum of $399 for a pair of autographed gym shoes?

Do not judge what other do-do. Do-Do yourself.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
9  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    3 weeks ago

Donnie LIES, so what? Doesn't everyone. Mur-Ree-KKK-Ah needs a STRONG MAN - just not "Dirty Diaper Donnie".

DJT spend to much time SHATING his diapers, which takes hours of his valuable time:  Changing his clothes, getting "Wipers" that actually know the front from the behind, sending for a new outfit in his size, including shirt, ties, pants, jacket, etc., and, of course, Super-Dubber DEPENDS!

Donnie is a collector. He likes to keep his used diapers, so that he might autograph them, and sell them to MAGA-LOONS, who are convinced that that smell "ain't Taco Bell", that is Donnie Superman smell.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
10  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    3 weeks ago

I got "SLING TV" and slung it, but it did not sling back. WTF is up with that?

Anyone out there in "WHACK-WHACK LAND" had this happen to you?  Corporations, Corruptions, Republican Sex In the House...things are going to HELL IN A HANDBAG.

What difference does it make if it is a "Designer Handbag"?
It is probably a "Knock Off", made in Communist China, and sold on the street of New York City, sold by "illegal aliens", taking good jobs away from our "recently released felons".

Stand Up fer "Mur-REE-KKK-Ah".

Don't lay down, roll over because it is easy. Have courage, hurl a bottle of Trump Ketch Up (in a glass bottle) at all government facilities at the local state, and especially the FEDERAL level.

Now is the time to "Tear Your Country Down - So Trump Can Build It Up!"

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
10.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @10    3 weeks ago

If you lick...er...like these comments, send $25 to Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo, "Doctored" (CASH ONLY, Damn It)!

And, I will send it back to you, a thousand fold (s).

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
11  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    3 weeks ago

I ain't no John Adams, but I am a Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo. And, that is close.  John and Jonathan are nearly the save, no?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
12  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    3 weeks ago

Fellow News Stalkers.commie, if you want to see, hear or feel the rest of the story, send $399 to Jonathan Lipschitz,% of Mildew, Ohio, where there are NO JOBS, not even Blow Jobs, and I will send you an autographed confession from the ORANGE HOG, himself.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
13  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    3 weeks ago



For just a small fee of $25.00 per article, I will send these Epistles to you FREE (Telepathically)

 
 

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