╌>

My Fellow Americanos, 'Dis is Jonathan Livingston Pigeon, with another "down & dirty" PIGEON REPORT

  

Category:  News & Politics

By:  eat-the-press-do-not-read-it  •  one month ago  •  68 comments

My Fellow Americanos, 'Dis is Jonathan Livingston Pigeon, with another "down & dirty" PIGEON REPORT
"da TOOTH is NOT da TOOTH, if yu touch it with your fingers". - Anomy

Friends, Romans, and Fellow Cunt-ree-menes, the World, as weed know it, but didn't smoke it, is going to "HELL 'N a HANDBAG"!

What difference does it make if it is a DESIGNER'S handbag?

It was probably made in China by Communist Chinese workers, and sold on the street of 'Mur-Ree-KKK-Can-Operns, by illegal immigrants, taking GOOD JOBS, away from our recently released felons?

Does youse know who is re-spitable fer dis here die-ass-turd?

JOE BIDDEN and his son Nicadurmus, who is makin' billions sucking off Foreign Cunt-ries that want to do BIZ with A-mur-e-can-os.

Joe & his defamed, dirty, lousy, son-of-a-bitcha, currently are illegally making more dough than that old HO, the Internationally Know Thief, Donnie J. Trump!

Poor, poor Donnie is enough to make a full groan man cry!

Don't it make you sad, when BILLIONAIRES cry, cry, as they sing, "Cry Me a River"?

We must support our BILLIONAIRES who need new coats. They have become so destitute that they need new coast, or so my illusion, not my delusions are telling me so.

Dang Gone It, Fart, HELL some dumb thang has got to be done! 

We cannot allow our SUPER-DUPER, UBER RICH Patron Saints be taken down to the ground by a bunch of East Coast, Left-Leaning Liberals, who should be leaning right.

We (me-self and I) ask John Russell to solve this crisis, but he pushed it off to Buz of the Orient, who in-turn forced it onto CB, who said he cannot help out, because he is NO LONGER BLACK.

That lead us back to SANDY, who hasn't got back to us, in over three years. 

Is she, my Fellow News Talkers.commies, so tied up that she she can't wiggle out of a few ropes.

I'll tell you Boys & Grills of the Ketchup Brigade,  we honest, Christ following, A-Mary-Mer-Ree-Can-Oh-Ho-Hoes, (Caution, CODED word) are becoming Chicken Wet suck-out-weaklin, to lazy to clean our weapons, and stock up for the Coming Hollow-cast coming to us on a cable TV near you.

Prepare NOW, stock up on BEER, WEAPONS, AMMO, ALCOHOL, MOONSHINE and toothpaste.

We, da' "Heroes of the Necessary Slaughter of Native Americans", have to Stand Up, Sit Down, Roll Over, and once again, turn our Heads Around, if'n we is gonna contaminate dis here invasion of our puberty.

Any suggestions you got, from one of your hallucinations, please, feel free, Almighty Jesus, to send them to"

EAT THE PRESS-DO NOT READ IT! (da Content is worthless.)

Youse
see, don't cha', don't chat?

That the "da" value is in the pulp when one eats it, so eat it, Michael, don't "BEAT IT".  That is so passe.

Here, at the Bird Dropping Institute Fer Morons, No Idiots, please, we don't care, Mickey, if you're "Dead & Gone" (Ding-Dong), you can still do your part to SAVE 'MER-REE-KKK-AN' from "Dirty Diaper Donnie" dirty hands.

Sing some songs, telepathic, to Donnie's 
MAGA LOONS, and encourage them to pull their empty head out of "Dirty Diaper Donnie's" Golden Arse.

"Mur-Rick-ah" needs WOKE MUTHER- FUCARDOS, not more dumb arses.

This has been a desperate plead from Jonathan 
Livingston Pigeon-Poo ("Doctored") CEO &
FLOUNDER of the "Less Than Prestigious" BIRD DROPPINGS INSTITUTE, located in the lovely, but nearly all torn down village of Mildew, Ohio, where their are NO JOBS, not even blow jobs, than to Re-Puritans who invades our community and force us to tear down our factory, the "CORK-SACKING FACTORY", 'cause'n it went against their religious views.
 


Red Box Rules

I may not be able to spell, but that is only because I ain't well!


 

Tags

jrDiscussion - desc
[]
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    one month ago

I understand that it require courage, patriotism, and a large BRIBE to not stand up to "Dirty Diaper Donnie", but these are dire times. (Whatever that means!)

Send MONEY, Honey to Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo ("Doctored")!  If you don't think I am "Doctored", look in my Medicine Cabinet.  I take one, two, maybe three
hundred pills a day, if I ain't "Doctored", who the HELL is.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
2  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    one month ago

Send CASH, no damn sissified checks, credit cards or excuses to The Bird Dropping Institute - a Think/Stink Tank fer Morons, no Idiots, please.

We be located in Mildew, OH-HIGH-HOES, where there are NO JOBS, not even
Blow Jobs.

NightAl,

I take it ever chance I get! 

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
2.1  Sparty On  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @2    one month ago

Guess she needs to tune it up higher to knock the peaks off the top of those sensitivity sine waves man but I think a couple others here need it worse than you ETP.    Take it to the bank

USTA ……

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
3  Sparty On    one month ago

[deleted]

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
3.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Sparty On @3    4 weeks ago

Oh, another great literal masterpiece lost to civilization by MAGA LUNATICS deciding what is "Up...What is Down, fer us".

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
3.1.1  Sparty On  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @3.1    4 weeks ago

The world never know.    Since my friends on the left were so afraid of it they had to burn the book.    If I could I would gladly give them all a cookie and perhaps improve their mood.

Need a cookie?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
3.1.2  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Sparty On @3.1.1    4 weeks ago

I like cookies topped with Cocaine. 

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
4  JohnRussell    one month ago

trump-confederate-flag.jpg

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
4.1  JohnRussell  replied to  JohnRussell @4    one month ago

GettyImages-1210406209-1200x800.jpg

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
4.1.1  JohnRussell  replied to  JohnRussell @4.1    one month ago

if this guy sits down it will be on trumps face.

somehow i dont think that is what he intended. 

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
4.1.2  devangelical  replied to  JohnRussell @4.1.1    one month ago

maybe not. the trumpster moron's asshole is right where trump's mouth is on that desecrated flag. that works...

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
4.1.3  Trout Giggles  replied to  JohnRussell @4.1    one month ago

Isn't it illegal to put somebody's face on a flag? Especially a traitor's face?

 
 
 
George
Junior Expert
4.1.4  George  replied to  Trout Giggles @4.1.3    one month ago

No, it is disrespectful, and an insult to those who served, but not technically illegal, the US flag code uses nonbinding language.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
4.1.5  Trout Giggles  replied to  George @4.1.4    one month ago

It's an insult to me

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
4.1.6  Tessylo  replied to  Trout Giggles @4.1.5    one month ago

It's an insult to all decent people.

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
4.1.7  Tessylo  replied to  Trout Giggles @4.1.5    one month ago

That turd has the nerve to put its' fat ugly face on a flag - the only one that POS has ever served is itself.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
4.1.8  Trout Giggles  replied to  Tessylo @4.1.6    one month ago

Yes, it is

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
4.1.9  Trout Giggles  replied to  Tessylo @4.1.7    one month ago

I'm one of those losers who wore combat boots. He only ever wore Lubutins on his nasty feet

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
4.1.10  Tessylo  replied to  Trout Giggles @4.1.9    one month ago

Combat boots would aggravate the loser bully coward's bone spurs.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
4.2  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  JohnRussell @4    4 weeks ago

Isn't that "LOVE-ER-LY", Judy?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
4.3  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  JohnRussell @4    4 weeks ago

Wouldn't he make a good president?

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
5  Sparty On    one month ago

800

 
 
 
JBB
Professor Principal
5.1  JBB  replied to  Sparty On @5    one month ago

original

 
 
 
George
Junior Expert
5.1.1  George  replied to  JBB @5.1    one month ago

256

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
5.1.2  Sparty On  replied to  JBB @5.1    one month ago

800

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
5.1.3  Tessylo  replied to  George @5.1.1    one month ago

The projection is all the 'right' has.

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
5.1.4  Sparty On  replied to  Tessylo @5.1.3    one month ago

800

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
5.1.5  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Sparty On @5.1.4    4 weeks ago

Of course, Donnie didn't remember it either.

"Dirty Diaper Donnie" just likes to "made SHAT up," and talked about how "wonderful, brilliant , and knowledgeable" he is.

Of Course, the "Know It All - Know Nothing Carnival Barker" loves to bloviate for hours! 

Isn't Donnie an Angel? No his isn't. He is INSANE!

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
5.1.6  Sparty On  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @5.1.5    4 weeks ago
He is INSANE!

He’s not the only one ….

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
5.1.7  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Sparty On @5.1.6    4 weeks ago

Well, Sparty, I didn't want to say it, but, you is, too@

It's OK, Donnie is always there fer you. Even when he goes to Hell with you.

Isn't that LOVE-ER-LY.  How many FAKE POTUS would do that fer you?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
5.2  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Sparty On @5    4 weeks ago

'Cause "DIRTY DIAPER DONNIE" is nuts!

And, nuts are not good fer you. They make one get the "runs", according to my doctors, Doctor Ding-A-Ling and Ding Dong.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
5.3  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Sparty On @5    4 weeks ago

We gonna put "Cry Walker" in the closet with Mike Johnson. Maybe they can get it on and work out the knots.

 
 
 
George
Junior Expert
6  George    one month ago

256

 
 
 
JBB
Professor Principal
6.1  JBB  replied to  George @6    one month ago

original

 
 
 
George
Junior Expert
6.1.1  George  replied to  JBB @6.1    one month ago

Not as proud as Biden is of his.

256

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
6.1.3  Tessylo  replied to  JBB @6.1    one month ago

That's not big enough for the majority of its' cult.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
6.1.4  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Tessylo @6.1.3    4 weeks ago

Oh, yes, I, too, worship this IDOL, Pete Buttigieg.

He is the United State SECRETARY OF TANSPORTATION, graduate of Harvard College and the University of Oxford, attending the latter on a 
RHODES SCHOLARSHIP.

Peter, as his enemies (Maga Goons) call him, was an Intelligence Officer (2009-20017) in the United States Navy Reserve (not the KGB that controls the other guy).

Unlike the other guy, he was deployed to Afghanistan for seven months in 2014 (which makes him a sucker and losers according to "Dirty Diaper Donnie", who dodged his military service to rape and molest over 23-24 women who came forward and, of course0 lied about him. Because that is what women victims do.

Men, on the other hand (usually the right), because they are superior to women (it's in the Bible somewhere) "Kick the Living SHAT out of their Sexual Predators"!

Pete, unlick...er...unlike "Dirty Diaper Donnie" served as mayor of South Bend, Indiana.

Trump never help any public office, before being elevated to the HIGHEST OFFICE IN THE LAND, by idiot, morons, Maga-loons, disgruntled Buffoons, an the much loved under-educated, Trump lauded, so often during his campaign.

Buttigieg is the youngest person ever to serve in BIDEN'S cabinet.

But, of course, T-Rump call him a "loser & a Sucker" who knows nothing about politics, economics, world history, United States history or the Constitution.

Pete didn't go to Pennsylvania University on money from T-Rump's crooked father, Frederick, the leader of the NYC KKK. (That is the kind of strong leadership Donnie refers to when he says, America Need a Strong President, (not one that is well educated, experienced, understands law, and refuse to beat up, or have people beaten up.)

Oh, the differences of skill is so outta kilter, but one must choose, doesn't one?

 
 
 
JBB
Professor Principal
6.1.5  JBB  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @6.1.4    4 weeks ago

original The MAGA MAN!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
6.2  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  George @6    4 weeks ago

Excuse me, but I am unable to translate that sign.  Does that mean that BIDEN is a democrat?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
6.3  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  George @6    4 weeks ago

Well that is a good thing. Everyone needs an Ass Hole. That is T-Rump problem, his arse don't work right.  That's why he wears "Dirty Diapers" 24/7/365 and need WIPERS to work fer him.

Put a cork in it, Donnie.  You stankin' up the country.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
7  Trout Giggles    one month ago

OMG...another JBB seed that turned into a meme war

Sorry Dr Jonathon....it's your seed

 
 
 
George
Junior Expert
7.1  George  replied to  Trout Giggles @7    one month ago

By:    eat-the-press-do-not-read-it    •    3 hours ago    •    18 comments

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
7.1.1  Trout Giggles  replied to  George @7.1    one month ago

oops

thanks for the correction

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
7.1.2  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Trout Giggles @7.1.1    4 weeks ago

Na Da Da! (Don't make the same mistake again. It grinds me Soul, and I am old enough).

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
7.2  Tessylo  replied to  Trout Giggles @7    one month ago

At least jbb's are truthful and funny and not hateful and arrogant and ignorant.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
7.2.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Tessylo @7.2    4 weeks ago

Do I detect a tad of sarcasm in that remark. Perhaps, a hidden slur, that I could report to the Monitor.

Howsoever, because I am a devout DEVOUT, I swallow my tongue frequently, which can confused Fellow NewsTalkers.commie. 

My intent is to "Ed-U-Ma-Kate" not denigrate.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
7.2.2  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @7.2.1    4 weeks ago

"The World Will Little Note What We Say Here", however, if I find my Notes, it would help! No?

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
7.3  Tessylo  replied to  Trout Giggles @7    one month ago

I think the Dr. and meet the press don't read it - are the same people

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
7.3.1  Tessylo  replied to  Tessylo @7.3    one month ago

eat the press 

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
7.3.2  Trout Giggles  replied to  Tessylo @7.3    one month ago

They are. I just like calling ETP Doctor

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
7.3.3  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Trout Giggles @7.3.2    4 weeks ago

Thank you, Trout, but it is "DOCTORED"

I take one, two, maybe, three hundred pills a day. If I ain't "Doctored", who in Hades is?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
7.3.4  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Tessylo @7.3    4 weeks ago

Are we now? (Sounds schizophrenic, to me.) I have multiple personaes:

Reverend Oral Fleece, Passed Turd

Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo, "Doctored"

Wintrope Merridethe, the III (aka, 'da turd", my street name).

"Al Jizz-Brazira" (aka, Father)

Doctor Ding-A-Ling & Ding Dong, Siamese Twins conjoined head to arse, arse to head. (One is a physical, the other is a Veterinarian, making it convenient to bring one dog, or other animal, to the same appointment, saving, time, money and sanity. Which I need to save more of, it is limited you know. Don't cha?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
7.4  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Trout Giggles @7    4 weeks ago

My seeds have been cast many a moon ago, now I am seedless.

(Unless, of course, you want to "fool" around. At 82.3.21, I believe that the old cast-iron stove can still be fired up.)

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
7.4.1  Trout Giggles  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @7.4    4 weeks ago
(Unless, of course, you want to "fool" around.

Let me see what my spouse is doing and I'll get back to you

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
7.4.2  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Trout Giggles @7.4.1    4 weeks ago

"Fool Around?"

Thou is not a FOOL.

I is a Phil-soft-er, devoted to Saving America From itself, one MAGA LOON at a time.

I have no time for "fooling around", I fooled around in Greenwich Village in the mid 60s, Hollywood in the late 60's, Vietnam when I was dumb, 65-66.

Three colleges who all politely asked me to leave.

I did work as a CLOWN, (Troubles The Clown with my mentor, The Professor).  We fooled around at Elementary Schools for $150.

Then, of course, their was my Philosophy Group, we fooled around at "Six Flags Over Tex-Ass", for three month, before, we were politely escorted to the border and instructed "never to return, if you know what is good for you?")

I never, even to this day, known what is good for me.)

I fooled around with Community Theater, and performing and writing comedy, but it was always, "Boo, Boo, Boo! You are a TOOL of Left Leaning Liberals - Get the Hell Off My Lawn"!

As one can see, my life has always been devoted to ED-U-MA-KATE-ING my fellow students, free of charge, for I am a Saint.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
7.5  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Trout Giggles @7    4 weeks ago

It's my seed?  Did we propagate, again.  I can't pay no money fer more off-off springs. They are flooding the Re-Puritan Party, forcing everyone to wear clothes.

Now that ain't RIGHT in the head.

Adam & Eve were naked and Jesus never said nothin' to them. Until that wicked woman, it is always woman that get one in troubles, she at the apple and then have to find a store where she could buy a dress.

That is what took up much of her time, and why Adam started drinkin' MOONSHINE, and fooling around with Clementine.

It's in the Bible, somewhere.

If you would like to get more Bible teaching just send $399 and I will read it to you, telepathically fer only an additional $399.

I need to rip you off because, I be running to for POTUS.

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
8  Buzz of the Orient    4 weeks ago

Cry me a river?  I'll cry YOU a river...

R-C.14f783791fdd6ec991c14858391836e9?rik=M13J9IhnSKxxvg&riu=http%3a%2f%2fimages.fineartamerica.com%2fimages-medium-large%2fcry-me-a-river-alan-rutherford.jpg&ehk=96tkOQ2678UVdNgr0yh8hmelOeq8etlPK88ItJdUYbM%3d&risl=&pid=ImgRaw&r=0

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
8.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @8    4 weeks ago

Wow, now that is a "RIVER"!

Gracious, Amigo. Ustedas es muy amale.

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
9  JohnRussell    4 weeks ago

800

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
9.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  JohnRussell @9    4 weeks ago

John, ever since "Dirty Diaper Donnie" picked my pocket, I have, loyally, sent MONEY to him, because he is a BILLIONAIRE, and I am snot...er...NOT.

It the Christian thing to do, he told me. 

I believe that somewhere in the sky above a BILLIONAIRE Cries.

Is it because, He or She (He/She) is losing their capital gains tax benefit, now that BIDEN is POTUS.

It is NOT enough to only help the POOR, one must help the RICH, in their hour of need, also.


 
 
 
JBB
Professor Principal
9.1.1  JBB  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @9.1    4 weeks ago

Is that you in this meme? It surely looks like your avatar... 

original

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
10  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    4 weeks ago

When I was a CHILD, I spat as a Child.

When I became a MAN, I had no clue upon with person I should SPIT on, so I SPAT on all of them. Until that fateful day, when I got the "liven' SHAT" beat out of me.

And, that has made all the difference in the World.

Now, unlike "Dirty Diaper Donnie", I no longer to wear DEPENDS. (Just send MONEY, Honey, to him)

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
11  JohnRussell    4 weeks ago

She is trying to catch big daddy's eye. 

GJJEWrGW0AAJa4M?format=jpg&name=small

Kimberly’s not leaving much to the imagination at these Mar-a-Lago fundraisers

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
11.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  JohnRussell @11    4 weeks ago

She is scary looking. Is she a BLOOK SUCKER.  She looks like the "sucker type".

BEWARE:

Ho's everywhere; even in garbage spawn rows.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
11.1.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @11.1    4 weeks ago

Now don't go and get your panties in a knot.  I knows, "Ho's" got to make a livin', especially if you look like this scarecrow!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
12  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    4 weeks ago

NOTE:  

Send all complaints to "Dirty Diaper Donnie". He is da one and his friend, da' Devil, makes me do it.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
13  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    4 weeks ago

Hurry, NewsTalkersFiends, Donnie only has till Monday to raise $461 MILLION to save his ORANGE ARSE from exploding.

Whether you like him or not, we don't want 'dat.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
14  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    4 weeks ago

This has been another PSA from this has been, Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo ("Doctored)!

Send money to me, and I will cleans it, then send it one to "Dirty Diaper Donnie", that way you won't have to wash you hands twice, and wear a gas mask.

 
 

Who is online




79 visitors