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I NEVER KNEW MY MOTHER - She died at childbirth. Her own.

  

Category:  News & Politics

By:  eat-the-press-do-not-read-it  •  one month ago  •  20 comments

I NEVER KNEW MY MOTHER - She died at childbirth. Her own.
"I am a FROZEN EMBRYO, I am, I am!" Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo

Fellow NEWS TALKERS.commies, we, and by that I mean, all of us, have experience pain in our lives.

(NOTE:  If you haven't, yet, I can send some your way, for only $50.00 for my INTRODUCTION fee. You will never be the sane, or same, again)

My Pappy, "Snappy" passed when he was only nine years old, and as I mentioned in the title of this autobiographical TOME, my Mother, Daisy Mae, died at "Childbirth", her own. But, that did not stop her from being a nuisance in me life.

I was raised by my Weird Uncle Al. Everyone has a "WEIRD UNCLE AL", somewhere in one's closets.

Every day, "Weird Uncle Al", would kick me down the steps, then up the steps. He said he did it strengthen me, so I would be prepared for the PERVERTED WORLD he knew, expertly.

One day, after Uncle All kicked me up the stair, then down the stairs, I decided to do something about it.

I tore out the stairs, but that didn't stop "Weird Uncle Al". What stopped him was falling in the hole where the stairs used to be.

Peoples in my universe, that are no longer "Locked Up", my fellow childhood friends from the 1940s and 50, had to do things for ourselves.

We created our own recreational activities and did many original things, that to this day, are unknown, and unknowable to local authorities. For instance, since there were no parks, recreational facilities in Mildew, OH-HO-HO, only "Ho's) were improvised, revised," and nearly died, doing our "own thang".

We played "RING AROUND THE WINO".  Sometimes on very hot days, we would greased the drunk school bus driver's neck and slide down it, until it cracked and woke him up.

He was an old grumpy, white guy.  What other kind is there?

It wasn't until I grew up and moved away, that I realized I was living with the neighbors.

I can remember it like it was yesterday, that cold, winter day, when our fake parents said they were going to the grocery store and never came back.

Well, for me that was the stick that broke my back. I packed up my belongings, put them neatly into my watch pocket and headed off for FAME & FORTUNE in Hollywood, California.

I never found "Fame", but I did find a "DIME", and that, my fine, fellow News Stalkers.commies, made all the difference in the world.

Tune into the "Dick Cheney Nursing Home For Wayward Republicans, where WATERBOARDING is not torture, it is a 
therapy!"

My Doctors, Ding-Dong and Ding-A-Ling, conjoined Siamese twins, joined at the Glutamax Max predicts that I should be out of their, if every goes well, in another 25 years.

I am ambivalent about living or staying. What do you think I should do, Fellow News Stalkers? 



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Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    one month ago

What I may have left out, Marjorie Taylor Green (aka Three Toes) was there, too.
No one would go within a mile of her. She was dangerous and always drunk.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
2  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    one month ago

What is your LIFE STORY?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
3  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    one month ago

Did mine make you cry for me? I cried.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
4  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    one month ago

I would NEVER cried, if I could read.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
5  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    one month ago

I plan to VOTE for Donnie Lipschitz. I just love that smell, and they way he YELLs!

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
6  Sparty On    one month ago

How’s that shock therapy coming along …..

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
6.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Sparty On @6    one month ago

Excellent! I no longer pee in a jar, like the rest of the
resident, I pee in the bed.

 

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
6.1.1  Sparty On  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @6.1    one month ago

Outstanding ….. congrats!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
7  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    one month ago

 My"sauces" say that Taylor Smith (or someone that looks like her) has agreed to be "Dirty Diaper Donnie's" VP. (Whatever the Hell that is.)

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
7.1  Sparty On  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @7    one month ago

What’s your over under on how many in congress wear adult garments and enjoy pooping their pants while in session.    I know of one fore sure.

Poopy pants Nadler

Paraphrasing Staff Sgt Osiris from Tropic Thunder, congressman poop butt announces:

“Man, everyone poops their pants once in awhile”

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
7.1.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Sparty On @7.1    one month ago

I have a strong impression that Senator Linseed-Oil Graham-Cracker, (R, Hick from the Sticks) bends over a lot, and depending on who one is bending over, it can cause one's DEPENDS to get backup.

I do not have first person knowledge (I don't have 1st person knowledge about anything) however, my intuitions and sense of smell to combine to a STINKING CONCLUSION.

Lindsey is 67 and and never married, never dated a woman, never kissed one, not only his mother, who beat him with a belt because she thought he was to "sissified"
according to my "sauce", an owner of a DC Gay Bath for Senator and Congressional Flip-Floppers, says he believes that he has seen "HER" in his high-end establishment for Low End Politicians.

I have to take his word for it, because he is pointing his revolver at my "Johnson"!
Although, I would not vouch for it in a Courtroom. 

However, in a bar with friends, I might pass it on as rumor, or "unsubstantiated".

You are Unsubstantiated, aren't you. I am, and, have been since birth. My mother say it since I was an embryo.

Unfortunately, for me, my Mother died at childbirth, her own.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
8  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    one month ago

Bad things happen to GOOD people almost as frequently as GOOD THINGS happen to 
BAD people.' Take for example, "Dirty Diaper Donnie", he is a low as it can get, and should have been in prison 45 years ago, when he stole a three-year old tricycle and sold it on the street of NYC for a profit.

Life can be ARSE backwards for some people. In DJT's case, it's face first, Arse after dinner, according to my "sauces" Ghouiliani and Steve Bunsions.

I swear it on my Mother grave, somewhere in Texas.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
9  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    one month ago

When I was a child, I spake as a child. But when I became a man, I spake like a "High Pitched Woman", and that has made all the difference in the world.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
10  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    one month ago

DJT and I suffered with the same malady, BOWEL BOCKAGE.  That is why are both angry, bitter men who put on a "Happy Orange Face", but, underneath we were filled with a ton of SHAT.

It wasn't until the 1990s when DJT got his TV series, start Cocaine, talking Adderall night and day, downers and uppers, until one day he opened the backdoor and it all started hemorrhaging out.

To this day, according to my "sauce", Drs. Ding-A-Ling and his Siamese twin Ding Dong, blasted that rear door wide open. And, that has made all the difference in the world. He is known as the "World's Greatest SHATER", but as he aged, he nickname changed to 
"Dirty Diaper Donnie".

Donnie hid his abnormality behind DEPENDS, even buying a semi-truck full of the most absorbent DIAPERS on the market (made in China, of course). But, to this day, it remains a highly held SECRET, known only to folks within 50 feet of the former POTUS, now, just a POS. 

Mur-Reek-KKK-Ans is this your choice for President of the Most Powerful President in our SHATTY WORLD, or are you leading toward "Sleepy Joe", who can control his bowels.

Choose wisely, the Smell, the Chaos, the Constant Stealing of Top Secret Documents will accelerate. This time it could be the end of  world, or just the entire nation.

Sleepy Joe stutters a little, but, at least he doesn't SHAT his pants, and force others to clean it up.

By the way, "Dirty Diaper Donnie" is now HIRING - WIPERS!




 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
11  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    one month ago

The above story is a TRUE STORY told by an Idiot, full of "Sounds & Fury", and directed at the marginal, can't chew gum and walk at the same time, MAGA-LOONS.

On the very,very BLACK side, they can carry a SHAT load of loaded, deadly, lethal weapons to protect Americans against Americans.

If you got the stuff, use snuff, and rarely bathe, "Dirty Diaper Donnie", needs "HELPING HANDS"!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
12  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    one month ago

Speaking of "HELP", witch, I constantly do, can anyone out there in WHACK-WHACK LAND, EDU-MUD-KATE me on how I might GET the "READ ALOUD" app turned on? 

In the past, I simply clicked the "Read Aloud" tab, under "U Stupid Arse", and Walleye, it worked.

 

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
13  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    one month ago

May I ax you a private question?

Have you had your TRUMP DUMP, today? Remember the CDC recommends that one flush 15 times, and be sure to wear you MASK...Gas Mask, of course, Horse.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
14  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    one month ago

When I was a child, I SHAT as a child. But, when I became a man, like Trump, I shat ever 15 minutes, for 15 minutes.  

That, Fellow News Stalkers.commies, is why, Donnie never accomplished so much!  He was, too busy doing Number Two. (Poo-Poo)

If you would like to purchase some of "Donnie's Poo" send $399 per ounce to Mar-A-Large-Load Drop. And, one of Donnie's daughters will package it up in a nice box, with a red ribbon on it ,and send it to you, for an additional $399 for shipping & handling.

Ain't "Dirty Diaper Donnie" considerate?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
15  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    one month ago

I know that some of you, ok all of you, do not believe the SHAT I write, but it is the TOOTH, so help me, Garfield.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
16  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    one month ago

I don't care how "DIRTY" your hands, get, if you are a VOLUNTEER Wiper, you are a HERO to MAGA-LOONS, and a nuisance to Democrats, who are taking good jobs from
from poor folks, just for the "Fun Of It"!

Spewing SHAT is where it is at!   - Jonathan Livingston Lipschitz, ("Doctored")

CAUTION: This   tome is not yet rated.256   
(Read first, Masturbate later!)

Our Journalistic CREED:

"The PUBLIC'S right to know EVERY damn thing, right this damn minute,  SUPERCEDES  our right to tell the truth.

"So, we don't! We just make SHAT UP, like Fox TV Fake News!"

It is quicker, CHEAPER, and a hell of a lot easier, folks. Try it. It is exhilarating. 

Remember, the more MONEY you send, the quicker you will be a MILLIONAIRE.
(Cash Only)

 

 
 

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