╌>

Senators Say They're Not Super Worried About Running Up National Debt As Most Of Them Will Die Of Natural Causes In The Next Year Or So

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  gregtx  •  2 weeks ago  •  2 comments

Senators Say They're Not Super Worried About Running Up National Debt As Most Of Them Will Die Of Natural Causes In The Next Year Or So
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As questions continue to mount regarding the lack of fiscal responsibility exercised by lawmakers, U.S. Senators said they are not super worried about running up the national debt since most of them will die of natural causes in the next year or so.

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T


WASHINGTON, D.C. — As questions continue to mount regarding the lack of fiscal responsibility exercised by lawmakers, U.S. Senators said they are not super worried about running up the national debt since most of them will die of natural causes in the next year or so.

"Yeah, we're not too concerned about it," said Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell. "If any of us were in any position to be alive when it comes time to pay the piper, we might do things a bit differently. As things stand now, most of us have one foot in the grave already, so we're just going to keep tossing away the country's future. By the time things get really bad, we'll be out of here."

When asked about Congress's ongoing willingness to funnel hundreds of billions of dollars to other countries while the national debt continues to climb to an astronomical level, legislators expressed no concern about the country's financial future, citing the unlikelihood of any of them still being alive when the economy completely collapses under the weight of its crushing debt.

McConnell's colleagues of advanced age seconded his assessment. "Why should we be worried about the future?" asked 90-year-old Iowa Senator Chuck Grassley. "The future? Are you kidding me? I'll be lucky to make it to dinner tonight."

At publishing time, senators refused to comment further on the national debt crisis as they all rushed off to a meeting to plan a $480 million 81st birthday party for Idaho Senator Jim Risch.


Tags

jrDiscussion - desc
[]
 
GregTx
PhD Guide
1  seeder  GregTx    2 weeks ago

512

 
 
 
TᵢG
Professor Principal
2  TᵢG    2 weeks ago

The underlying principle of this satire rings true.

 
 

Who is online

Kavika
Outis
shona1
Gazoo
Tacos!


57 visitors