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Biden Departs For Israel To Preside Over Opening Ceremonies For World War III

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  gregtx  •  9 months ago  •  15 comments

Biden Departs For Israel To Preside Over Opening Ceremonies For World War III
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The White House announced today that President Joe Biden has departed for Israel to preside over the customary opening ceremonies for World War III.

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T


WASHINGTON, D.C. — The White House announced today that President Joe Biden has departed for Israel to preside over the customary opening ceremonies for World War III.

Whenever a world war starts, tradition has it that the participating nations gather for a solemn ceremony that includes the lighting of the World War Torch, the presentation of each nation's colors, and light cocktails and hors d'oeuvres afterward.

Biden has been given the sacred duty of lighting the torch, a task that has traditionally been assigned to the sitting U.S. president. And so, he got ready to head out to take part in this national American pastime.

"You know, it's a real honor to be a part of this," Biden told reporters gathered on the tarmac. "That nice, clean, articulate black fellow, what's his name - uh, Barry, yeah, he got to do this when he was President and I was the, uh, assistant to the President or whatever they call it. And I was always jealous of that. You know, as a little boy, I got to see ol' Woody Wilson light the torch for the Great War. It was a real cool thing to be a part of."

"My butt's been wiped," he added before stumbling up the stairs onto Air Force One.

At publishing time, the pilot had locked the cockpit door after Biden poked his head in and made an Airplane! reference for the fifth time.


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GregTx
Professor Guide
1  seeder  GregTx    9 months ago

512

 
 
 
Michael C.
Freshman Expert
1.1  Michael C.  replied to  GregTx @1    9 months ago

Wow-- he looks really good in a cowboy hat. 

Maybe he should change his image before the next election. (For starters he could watch some Clint Eastwood movies-- learn how to do the "macho" thing!

Then he could change his position on gun control. (But beheading babies would be really sick)

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Senior Expert
1.1.1  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  Michael C. @1.1    9 months ago

It’s not his first rodeo.

 
 
 
GregTx
Professor Guide
1.1.2  seeder  GregTx  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @1.1.1    9 months ago

Pretty sure it's his first one where he's matched with a real bull....

 
 
 
GregTx
Professor Guide
1.1.3  seeder  GregTx  replied to  Michael C. @1.1    9 months ago

Everyone looks good in a cowboy hat...

 
 
 
Snuffy
Professor Participates
1.1.4  Snuffy  replied to  GregTx @1.1.2    9 months ago
Pretty sure it's his first one where he's matched with a real bull....

That can't be right, I heard he went to the rodeo after he chain-whipped Corn Pop.

 
 
 
Michael C.
Freshman Expert
1.1.5  Michael C.  replied to  GregTx @1.1.2    9 months ago

There's a lot of bull with most politicians...

 
 
 
JBB
Professor Principal
2  JBB    9 months ago

You know this is shameful disgraceful shit, no author put a name on it!

 
 
 
Michael C.
Freshman Expert
2.1  Michael C.  replied to  JBB @2    9 months ago

I just took a quick look-- I found this:

 · BabylonBee.com

Could probably go there and see who's behind it?

 
 
 
JBB
Professor Principal
2.1.1  JBB  replied to  Michael C. @2.1    9 months ago

Nope, it is unattributed. Could be from anywhere or by anyone...

 
 
 
GregTx
Professor Guide
2.1.2  seeder  GregTx  replied to  JBB @2.1.1    9 months ago

OMG!!...

 
 
 
JBB
Professor Principal
2.1.3  JBB  replied to  GregTx @2.1.2    9 months ago

No, just in such awful bad taste whoever wrote this garbage was so ashamed of it they refused to put their name on it...

 
 
 
Michael C.
Freshman Expert
2.1.4  Michael C.  replied to  JBB @2.1.3    9 months ago

I used to really care about this sort of thing. But there's been so much more sheer stupidity, so many scammers, so much hatred of the ;Net that I've become a bit hardened to it. 

 
 
 
Texan1211
Professor Principal
2.2  Texan1211  replied to  JBB @2    9 months ago

Why do we ALWAYS see such comments on satire articles?

And usually from the same people?

Perhaps some folks should avoid all satire articles as they seem to be upset something fierce by them.

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Senior Expert
2.2.1  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  Texan1211 @2.2    9 months ago

For some, these articles are a trigger, for others, a micro aggression. 

 
 

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