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New CPC logo just a boner in a cowboy hat

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  hallux  •  one week ago  •  2 comments

By:   STAFF - The Beaverton

New CPC logo just a boner in a cowboy hat

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T


OTTAWA   – After a rousing speech by   Conservative   Party leader   Pierre Poilievre   at the party’s convention last week, the   CPC   has unveiled a new logo carefully designed to communicate a strong new message to voters. The revamped symbol features an erect   penis   wearing a little cowboy hat.

“We were really excited about appealing to Canadians who may not be sure that today’s Conservative Party aligns with their values,” spokesperson Leon Gerbitz told reporters.

“We tried connecting to our target voters in a lot of different ways. Sure, we talked about how much we admire guns and the military, but that could   mean   a lot of things. We talked about ‘axing’ policies   you   don’t like, because research shows that a lot of our target voters think axes are cool and strong.”

“And of course there’s all that stuff about “Powerful Paycheques”, which we thought was a slam dunk until someone in a focus group told us the shape of the letter ‘o’ in ‘powerful’ makes them think of vaginas and then they think the word it’s in must be about a girl thing.”

When asked about the party leader’s new “tougher” look he debuted in July, Gerbitz sighed with exhaustion. “We were sitting around brainstorming, and we just thought putting poor Pierre in wraparound Oakleys and making him take off his tie and slide on a muscle shirt just seemed cruel. But how else could we connect to our voters? Just show them a boner in a cowboy hat? And THAT’s when it hit me.”

But designing the boner in a cowboy hat was easier said than done.

“I figured we’d just mock something up in Microsoft   Paint   and let her rip,” graphic designer Tim Lugh told reporters. “But it turned out to be a lot more complicated. Literally everybody wanted to weigh in. We had a 30-minute   argument   about whether having testicles made it look weak, and whether we should put truck nuts where the testicles would be.”

But in the end, leadership was happy with the result, a boner in a cowboy hat that seemed resilient, resourceful, afraid of change, and strongly in favour of cutting taxes.

While the boner wearing a cowboy hat may be shocking to some, voters have on the whole found it reassuring.

“Seeing a boner in a cowboy hat makes me confident that the party I’m voting for can get it up, ride a horse, and start a   fire   with flint,” Moose Jaw’s Jerry Lynpe told reporters.

At press time the People’s Party of   Canada   has announced its new logo is just a swastika that speaks French.


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Hallux
Senior Principal
1  seeder  Hallux    one week ago

Canada will elect her next bonehead leader sometime around October 20, 2025 from a sack of hammers ... 'truly' one of the 'joys' of a multiparty system.

If Buzz can point me to a real Chinese Resto in Montreal, I'll vote for him ... I've had my fill of Spring chickens running the barnyard bar.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
1.1  devangelical  replied to  Hallux @1    one week ago

hopefully they don't get sued by the maga cult for some kind of copyright infringement...

 
 

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