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Biden Urges U.S. Government To Fund Vaccine For Virus U.S. Government Funded

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  gregtx  •  8 months ago  •  4 comments

Biden Urges U.S. Government To Fund Vaccine For Virus U.S. Government Funded
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With another devastating wave of COVID-19 scheduled to arrive just in time for the upcoming election year, President Joe Biden has urgently asked the U.S. government to provide funding for a new vaccine for the virus the U.S. government funded.

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T


WASHINGTON, D.C. — With another devastating wave of COVID-19 scheduled to arrive just in time for the upcoming election year, President Joe Biden has urgently asked the U.S. government to provide funding for a new vaccine for the virus the U.S. government funded.

"Here's the deal, folks," Biden mumbled, "A government-caused problem deserves a government-caused solution. We fronted the money to cook up this virus, so it only makes sense for us to pay for another safe and completely effective vaccine. It's just like all the other safe and effective vaccines we had before, but this one works. For real. Cheesecake!"

Officials have warned that a new round of COVID is on its way and have begun making preparations to reinstitute lockdown policies and mask mandates, leading many citizens to preemptively refuse to comply. "Ain't no way I'm wearing a mask again," said steelworker Ray Stevens. "But if they want me to take a new shot, I guess I'll take their word that it's necessary."

Reports now indicate the Biden administration will make an even stronger push to force everyone to take the new vaccine. "All the other shots were great," said Dr. David Schultz, a virologist who is consulting with the administration. "They worked so well, in fact, that we're desperate to get funding to make a new one that will also work super well and be completely necessary and totally safe."

At publishing time, experts predicted the new vaccine to be ready just in time for voters to suffer totally unrelated side effects before the election.


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GregTx
PhD Guide
1  seeder  GregTx    8 months ago

512

 
 
 
Jeremy Retired in NC
Professor Expert
2  Jeremy Retired in NC    8 months ago
"Here's the deal, folks," Biden mumbled, "A government-caused problem deserves a government-caused solution. We fronted the money to cook up this virus, so it only makes sense for us to pay for another safe and completely effective vaccine.

At least they are finally admitting they knew where this originated and were responsible from the start.  Many people aren't going to like that he stated this.

 
 
 
Snuffy
Professor Participates
2.1  Snuffy  replied to  Jeremy Retired in NC @2    8 months ago
"Here's the deal, folks," Biden mumbled, "A government-caused problem deserves a government-caused solution. We fronted the money to cook up this virus, so it only makes sense for us to pay for another safe and completely effective vaccine.
At least they are finally admitting they knew where this originated and were responsible from the start.  Many people aren't going to like that he stated this.

Well damn...   wonder how the White House will try to spin this?  My money is on they ignore it for as long as they can as the main-stream media won't bother to ask questions.

 
 
 
Jeremy Retired in NC
Professor Expert
2.1.1  Jeremy Retired in NC  replied to  Snuffy @2.1    8 months ago

The media is just as culpable for the problems as the WH.  They'll ignore it just as they always have and push the false narratives we've all come to know.

 
 

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