Fulton County Releases First Official Portrait Of The 47th President Of The United States
Category: SatireVia: gregtx • one month ago • 6 comments
ATLANTA, GA — In a moment that will go down in history books for generations to come, Georgia's Fulton County has released an exclusive first official photograph of the 47th President of the United States, more than a full year before his 2024 election will even be held.
"This is the earliest an official portrait has ever been taken," said presidential historian Dr. Blake Rumsey. "In some cases, it was widely known which candidate had the best chance of winning several months ahead of an election, but having full confirmation more than a year in advance is absolutely unheard of. Kudos to Fulton County and its district attorney, Fani Willis, for making history."
Though ballots will not begin to be cast in next November's presidential election until sometime in 2024, District Attorney Willis and the other leaders in Fulton County have officially confirmed the result. "We're not even sure counting the votes will be necessary anymore," one election official said after the photograph was released. "With an official photograph of the 47th president being made public, it's a done deal. Congratulations to President Donald Trump!"
Behind closed doors, despite Republican leaders previously expressing doubt about the outcome of the election, citing questions about the integrity of the voting process, they were now grateful to D.A. Willis for wrapping up the election more than 14 months early. "Thank you, Fani Willis!" shouted one elated GOP strategist. "We couldn't have done this so quickly without you!"
At publishing time, historians were already updating school textbooks to reflect the indispensable role Fani Willis played in the historic re-election of President Donald Trump.