'Florida Is A Mismanaged Hellhole And Only An Idiot Would Live There,' Says Trump
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
MAR-A-LAGO, FL — Trump made a statement from his Florida resort on Wednesday, responding to DeSantis's announcement he was running for President. In it, he attacked his opponent for mismanaging the state so badly that only a really dumb idiot would ever want to live there.
"Florida is a terrible place, really terrible, a hellhole, really," said Trump. "Only very, very stupid people live in Florida. That's how bad it is. So bad, really bad. But it would be a wonderful, perfect place if Ron DeSanctimonious, Meatball Ron, hadn't driven it into the ground--like a dog. Now, only very bad dummies still live there. And I know a thing or two about really bad dummies. Sad!"
Trump then vowed he would work with CNN, MSNBC, and Dr. Fauci to ensure DeSantis didn't win and then make the entire country just like Florida, where stupid people live.
"If Ron DeStupid wins the Presidency, which he won't, the entire country will be a balmy tropical paradise with freedom and low taxes," said Trump. "But it will be a balmy tropical paradise with freedom and low taxes where I am not President, and that would be terrible. Nobody wants that!"
At publishing time, DeSantis had retaliated by giving Disney approval to build a resort at Trump International Golf Club.
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I’m sure he’ll say it the more flustered he gets.
Morning... Crikey...so he is calling himself stupid??..about the only decent thing he has said about himself..
Got to be proud!!
Can only hope Harry and Meagan move there next..
I know this is just satire, but I do expect Trump to insert foot in mouth many times in the coming weeks in desperately demeaning DeSantis while failing to excoriate Biden and the Dems. RDS can just quietly continue to be the adult in the room and not rise to the bait of Trumps moronic outbursts. Nothing will be gained by going tit for tat with sore loser Trump.
This is a fascinating seed. Even though it is "satire" it very much sounds like something Trump might actually say, thus an admission by this conservative "comedy" site that the GOP front runner is a ludicrous figure.
The Babylon Bee has in effect announced they are for Ron DeSantis.
Not really any funnier than the rest of their mediocre output though.
I'll pass that along as well as your compliment of their satire.