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She said: "I can't tell if it was his finger or his Penis."

  

Category:  News & Politics

By:  eat-the-press-do-not-read-it  •  11 months ago  •  47 comments

She said: "I can't tell if it was his finger or his Penis."
Judge said: "Five Million dollars!"

OUCH! You know that must have hurt!

She said:  "I couldn't tell if it was his finger or his Penis. Both are awfully small."

Judge said: "Who cares? It's $5,000,000"!

Trump said:  "It's rigged! Everyone knows it was my PENIS!"

The attorney said: "I quit!"

CASE CLOSED!


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Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    11 months ago

Did Trump's parents make the wrong choice for Donnie's Circumcision doctor? Doctor Ding-A-Ling has a long history of miscalculations due to his poor eyesight. 

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
2  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    11 months ago

Will this revelation affect your decision to VOTE for "Dirty Diaper Donnie", again? Or, do you have the same problem?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
3  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    11 months ago

Donnie says that "the case was rigged!" And, Donnie knows a lot of rigging things.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
4  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    11 months ago

Has your confidence in Donnie been swayed by the results?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
5  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    11 months ago

Does Donnie have the tools to do the job as POTUS? He didn't do a very good job before. He blew it! 

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
6  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    11 months ago

Please, please, please leave your comments below in a brown paper bag. We do not want to incite the prudish monitors (if any) here, on "THE NEWS YACKERS.communist.com".

Putin is still the unofficial head of the party, and there is no point in getting him involved, is there? After all, he has a darker side than "Dirty Diaper Donnie"!

We don't want the "SHAT to Hit the Fan"!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
7  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    11 months ago

There is a lot to be said for abbreviation, don't you think?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
8  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    11 months ago

I wasn't circumcised, and that has made all the difference in the world.

 
 
 
Tacos!
Professor Guide
9  Tacos!    11 months ago

I think she said it hurt, so it was probably his finger.

 
 
 
Ozzwald
Professor Quiet
9.1  Ozzwald  replied to  Tacos! @9    11 months ago
I think she said it hurt, so it was probably his finger.

I don't think either one will make a difference.

trump_small_hands.jpg

 
 
 
Tacos!
Professor Guide
9.1.1  Tacos!  replied to  Ozzwald @9.1    11 months ago

I just figure the larger object is more likely to cause pain.

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Junior Expert
9.1.2  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  Tacos! @9.1.1    11 months ago

Perhaps the lack of foreplay. 

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
9.1.3  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @9.1.2    11 months ago

Yep, slamming a woman against a dressing room cubicle wall lacks the romantic quality that stimulates an amorous moment.

Donald Chump has MENTAL issues. In layman's terms:  He is NUTS!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
9.1.4  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Tacos! @9.1.1    11 months ago

In "Dirty Diaper Donnie's" case, according to "Stormy" Daniels, the Orange POS, doesn't have the equipment.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
9.1.5  devangelical  replied to  Ozzwald @9.1    11 months ago

I seriously doubt that trump has even seen his dick this century.

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Masters Expert
9.1.6  al Jizzerror  replied to  devangelical @9.1.5    11 months ago
I seriously doubt that trump has even seen his dick this century.

He doesn't have access to an electron microscope.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
9.1.7  devangelical  replied to  al Jizzerror @9.1.6    11 months ago

neither does melania...

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Junior Expert
9.1.8  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  devangelical @9.1.7    11 months ago

[deleted]

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
9.1.9  devangelical  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @9.1.8    11 months ago

[deleted]

 
 
 
bugsy
Professor Participates
9.1.10  bugsy  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @9.1.8    11 months ago
[deleted]
 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Junior Expert
9.1.11  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @9.1.8    11 months ago

Exactly, while this thread on Trump’s dick size versus finger size fully meets the NT’s intent to provide the best place online to find high-quality, informative-style content and debate as well as the abiding by it’s CoC, my reply was an anomaly.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
9.1.12  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @9.1.11    11 months ago

Thank you, Drinker, of the Wry, your comments are always stunningly crafted for a wonderful impact. Write more. It's great, brilliant, unique stuff.

BRAVO!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
9.2  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Tacos! @9    11 months ago

Or, his head. It is very narrow.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
10  Kavika     11 months ago

He probably doesn't know the difference.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
10.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Kavika @10    11 months ago

Trump's little penis appears to be calling on the shots. Approximately 26 women publicly accused "Dirty Diaper Donnie" of SEXUAL ASSAULT.  Two women accused this sexual predator of raping them at the age of 12 and 13 years old.

T-Rump is notorious as a Serial Philanderer who has cheated consistently on all three of his wives.

The Agent Orange disaster is not POTUS material. He is SEXUAL PREDATOR material. But his equipment isn't.  

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
10.2  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Kavika @10    11 months ago

T-Rump Bone Head seems to have difficulty DISTINGUISHING "Reality" from Fiction. He, and unfortunately, some of his followers, still think he was a GREAT POTUS, not just a POS.

Five serious indictments are heading his way.

"Dirty Diaper Donnie" is now the WORST POTUS in the HISTORY of the United States of America! 

Why would any "sane" citizen vote for an obviously "INSANE", man, who wears orange makeup, dies his hair blonde, and wears SUPER-DUPPER DEPENDS DIAPERS 24/7/365 for President?


 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Masters Expert
10.2.1  al Jizzerror  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @10.2    11 months ago
Why would any "sane" citizen vote for an obviously "INSANE"

WTF?

No "sane" citizen would vote for that crazy bastard!

Trumpers, by definition, are fucking nuts.

512  

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
10.2.2  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  al Jizzerror @10.2.1    11 months ago

What the HELL has happened to these people who worship an A-Hole, Criminal like "Dirty Diaper Donnie"?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
10.2.3  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  al Jizzerror @10.2.1    11 months ago

What the HELL is wrong with folks that think this is acceptable behavior? It is CRIMINAL, TREASONOUS, MURDEROUS, VIOLENT and every A-Hole that participated would be imprisoned for LIFE.

This ain't NO Hillbilly version of a college demonstration. This is a collection of the worse SCUMBAGS in this country who have convinced themselves that they are PATRIOTS and anyone that disagrees with them deserves to be beaten, clubbed, or even KILLED.

Because: These IDIOTS believe that Donald J. Trump is just like them, and on that issue...they are RIGHT!

Time to crawl back to the Swamp. The Gaters need to eat.

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Masters Expert
11  al Jizzerror    11 months ago

512

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
11.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  al Jizzerror @11    11 months ago

Donnie, Honey, it is still DISGUSTING.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
12  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    11 months ago

"Dirty Diaper Donnie" needs to be WIPED...away.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
13  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    11 months ago

Some readers may find this article "revolting", I do, too. Donald J Trump is revolting!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
14  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    11 months ago

256

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
15  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    11 months ago

UPDATE: From our good old buddies from BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN!
(Don't F*&^ It! SUCK IT)

Stormy Daniels, (still alive) just finished an interview on "Perverts Are People, too", the highest-ranking radio interview show on this network, and spilled the beans on Donald Dump Truck's crotch!

She said: "It probably was his pinky finger, it's twice the size of his Jonson. Besides, it looks like an orange chewed Cheeto!" 

 
 
 
MonsterMash
Sophomore Quiet
16  MonsterMash    11 months ago

[deleted]

 
 
 
bugsy
Professor Participates
16.1  bugsy  replied to  MonsterMash @16    11 months ago

[deleted]

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
16.1.1  Tessylo  replied to  bugsy @16.1    11 months ago

and you

lol

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
16.1.2  Tessylo  replied to  bugsy @16.1    11 months ago

also see comment 11

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
16.1.3  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  bugsy @16.1    11 months ago

Another brilliant comment incinerated. Why?  It could be the mysterious clue that led us to the "LIGHT". Light can be right or left, but never when it is blocked out!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
16.1.4  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  bugsy @16.1    11 months ago

Please, do not delete comments.  This is not a RELIGIOUS site.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
16.2  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  MonsterMash @16    11 months ago

The deleted comments are always the BEST! Why do they do that? We are all grown up, we do not throw up when someone posts a biting, alternate point of view.

After all, this is SATIRE, not "Sat Tires", no one will go flat!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
18  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    11 months ago

Another brilliant comment incinerated. Why?  It could be the mysterious clue that led us to the "LIGHT". Light can be right or left, but never when it is blocked out!

 
 
 
JBB
Professor Principal
18.1  JBB  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @18    11 months ago

Your sophisticated humor angers the trolls so they act out and get sanctioned. It's a pity...

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
18.1.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  JBB @18.1    11 months ago

Well, then my job is nearly done. No gum for the dumb! They always get it in their hair.

800

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Masters Expert
18.1.2  al Jizzerror  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @18.1.1    11 months ago

I guess Safeway isn't very safe anymore.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
18.1.3  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  al Jizzerror @18.1.2    11 months ago

It never was a Safe Way!

 
 

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