Biden Taps Kamala Harris To Counteract Rise Of Intelligence
Category: SatireVia: gregtx • 3 weeks ago • 4 comments
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an effort to establish government oversight of the growing role of artificial intelligence in our society, President Biden has appointed Vice President Kamala Harris as "A.I. Czar." The President expressed hope that Harris's track record of slowing the spread of intelligence will be of use.
"She's been fighting against the threat of intelligence her whole life," Biden said in brief remarks when the announcement was made. "When it comes to creating an environment where intelligence is restricted and unable to advance too far, Vice President Harris is more qualified for the job than anyone else. Racecar dingleflurble."
Fears among the general public and leaders of the tech industry alike regarding the increasing growth and prevalence of artificial intelligence have led to calls for more oversight, which Vice President Harris was more than willing to provide — as soon as she was informed what "oversight" means. "It is my distinct honor to provide real leadership over the growth of artificial intelligence. Intelligence that is artificial is real, and intelligence that is real may, in reality, be artificial. It is within that reality that artificiality can become real," Harris said in something that seemed like a statement.
Sources within the White House indicated Biden was supremely confident that Harris's leadership in the area of intelligence would be just as successful as her tenure as Border Czar.
At publishing time, Vice President Harris was reportedly already assembling a special task force to deal with the potential threat of intelligence, asking New York Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to serve as her advisor.
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Like most great satire, this one is spot on and totally believable--especially this part:
I formally nominate AOC to be Deputy Czar.
Between the two of these clowns, we can all rest assured that they will display no signs of intelligence.