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Jimmy Kimmel Ratings Soar After Debuting New Segment Where He Stands There All Sad And Cries Like A Wuss

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  gregtx  •  4 weeks ago  •  29 comments

Jimmy Kimmel Ratings Soar After Debuting New Segment Where He Stands There All Sad And Cries Like A Wuss
U.S. — Ratings for Jimmy Kimmel's late-night show soared this past week after he debuted a new segment where he just stands on stage and cries like a big wuss.

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T


U.S. — Ratings for Jimmy Kimmel's late-night show soared this past week after he debuted a new segment where he just stands on stage and cries like a big wuss.

Kimmel unveiled the new segment Tuesday night, when in lieu of an opening monologue, he stood there and cried like a girl.

"Oh man, this is great," said local woman Lacy Janovic as she watched Kimmel blubber away. "Is his lip quivering? Aww, look at the big baby crying for his mama! I could watch this every night."

After long being an afterthought in late-night television, Kimmel has suddenly seen millions of Americans tuning in to watch him weep like a pansy. "We've had a ten-fold surge in viewership," reported show producer Dave Campbell. "People absolutely love getting to watch Kimmel stand there like a sissy and bawl all over himself. The only issue is the tears keep washing off his blackface."

At publishing time, Stephen Colbert had also received a big ratings bump as people happily tuned in to watch him angrily scream obscenities like an impotent weakling.


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GregTx
Professor Guide
1  seeder  GregTx    4 weeks ago

512

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
1.1  Tessylo  replied to  GregTx @1    4 weeks ago

[]

 
 
 
Sean Treacy
Professor Principal
2  Sean Treacy    4 weeks ago

He's had to go full View co-host to save his career after the way it started:

Whenever I see Jimmy Kimmel complaining about President Trump I can't help but recall this video:

 
 
 
Right Down the Center
Masters Guide
2.1  Right Down the Center  replied to  Sean Treacy @2    4 weeks ago

Yep. And many on the left love him

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
3  JohnRussell    4 weeks ago

Jimmy Kimmel could be frozen in a block of ice and his monologue would still be funnier than anything the Babylon Bee has ever written. 

It would be fun to see him go after the Babylon Bee, but he probably has never heard of it. 

 
 
 
GregTx
Professor Guide
3.1  seeder  GregTx  replied to  JohnRussell @3    4 weeks ago
Jimmy Kimmel could be frozen in a block of ice and his monologue would still be funnier than anything the Babylon Bee has ever written. 

Opinions do vary....

It would be fun to see him go after the Babylon Bee, but he probably has never heard of it. 

Indeed it would, I doubt that old washed up wannabe would even know what hit him....

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
3.2  Tessylo  replied to  JohnRussell @3    4 weeks ago

Only losers have heard of it and find it funny.

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
3.3  Tessylo  replied to  JohnRussell @3    4 weeks ago

Real men don't find garbage like this funny.

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
4  JohnRussell    4 weeks ago

Kimmel should cry if he wants to. He knows his country has been overrun by traitor assholes. 

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
4.1  Tessylo  replied to  JohnRussell @4    4 weeks ago

Real men aren't afraid to show emotions.

There are none among the traitor supporters, just a bunch of pussies - wussies.

 
 
 
bugsy
Professor Participates
4.1.1  bugsy  replied to  Tessylo @4.1    4 weeks ago
Real men aren't afraid to show emotions.

There is a difference between showing emotions and being a pussy

 
 
 
GregTx
Professor Guide
4.2  seeder  GregTx  replied to  JohnRussell @4    4 weeks ago

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
4.2.1  JohnRussell  replied to  GregTx @4.2    4 weeks ago

 
 
 
GregTx
Professor Guide
4.2.2  seeder  GregTx  replied to  JohnRussell @4.2.1    4 weeks ago

 
 
 
bugsy
Professor Participates
4.3  bugsy  replied to  JohnRussell @4    4 weeks ago
has been overrun by traitor assholes. 

Who has been charged with treason?

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
4.3.1  JohnRussell  replied to  bugsy @4.3    4 weeks ago

[]

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
4.3.2  Tessylo  replied to  JohnRussell @4.3.1    4 weeks ago

[deleted][]

 
 
 
GregTx
Professor Guide
4.3.3  seeder  GregTx  replied to  Tessylo @4.3.2    4 weeks ago

Absolutely...

 
 
 
bugsy
Professor Participates
4.3.4  bugsy  replied to  Tessylo @4.3.2    4 weeks ago
some folks are like a fucking broken record around here

Yes because "PD and D" is so original every time it is used here. s/

 
 
 
Thrawn 31
Professor Participates
5  Thrawn 31    4 weeks ago

Trump supporters don’t get to call anyone a wuss, their guy has been crying like a bitch for 78 years.  

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
5.1  Tessylo  replied to  Thrawn 31 @5    4 weeks ago

The world's whiniest little bitch pussy of them all.  Traitor at that.

 
 
 
GregTx
Professor Guide
5.2  seeder  GregTx  replied to  Thrawn 31 @5    4 weeks ago

While still winning, hugely....

 
 
 
Right Down the Center
Masters Guide
5.3  Right Down the Center  replied to  Thrawn 31 @5    4 weeks ago
Trump supporters don’t get to call anyone a wuss,

Ah but they do.

 
 
 
GregTx
Professor Guide
5.3.1  seeder  GregTx  replied to  Right Down the Center @5.3    4 weeks ago

Bonus!!

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
6  Sparty On    4 weeks ago

Kimmels best work was on The Man Show.

 
 
 
bugsy
Professor Participates
6.1  bugsy  replied to  Sparty On @6    4 weeks ago

I agree. Back then he was funny and did not act like a raging lunatic liberal.

I wonder if leftists ever got mad at him for his blackface skit?

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
6.1.1  Sparty On  replied to  bugsy @6.1    4 weeks ago

Kimmel is the classic Hollywood hypocrite.

 
 
 
Right Down the Center
Masters Guide
7  Right Down the Center    4 weeks ago

Cry Jimmy cry!

466789891_10235626234381207_5240058471536090282_n.jpg?stp=cp6_dst-jpg&_nc_cat=103&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=833d8c&_nc_ohc=N7gI18ywhi4Q7kNvgEBuqWj&_nc_zt=23&_nc_ht=scontent-bos5-1.xx&_nc_gid=A_2jj-KavAFsrObMgBV1AuU&oh=00_AYA8luQDtWFcJxDvsCb8N5ZgvmMhDjmeqIL7kdXEcP4CWQ&oe=67380467

 
 
 
Jeremy Retired in NC
Professor Expert
8  Jeremy Retired in NC    4 weeks ago

256

 
 

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